“You’re welcome. I’m sorry, too.” Posy gave a quick smile. “I’m hoping it’s my massive Christmas gift that’s straining the edges of your suitcase.”
Hannah stepped into the car and slammed the door shut, relieved to be insulated from the chaos of the airport even though she knew all her problems were sealed in the car with her.
Expensive Christmas gifts she could manage. Handing over her credit card was the easy part, although in fact the weight of her suitcase could mostly be attributed to the books she carried with her when she traveled. Sometimes she could find room for only one or two, but for this trip she’d sacrificed clothes to make room for six of her favorites.
It was like traveling with friends. Simply knowing they were there made her feel better. Later she’d turn to them, lean on them as she always had, seeking comfort in the worlds hidden between their pages.
She watched as a couple hurried toward a taxi, juggling cases, parcels and two young children.
Home for Christmas.
Most people found the concept comforting and soothing. Hannah wasn’t one of them.
Posy opened the driver’s door, letting in a blast of ice-cold air. “Why the dark glasses? You’re in the Highlands, not Hollywood.”
It said a lot about their relationship that her sister assumed the glasses were for anonymity, rather than to conceal the fact that Hannah felt beaten.
Posy didn’t know the details of her life, and whose fault was that? Hannah had allowed misconceptions to stack up like bricks in a wall, cutting her off from other people.
“You’re stressed. I’m sure the last thing you needed was to pick your sister up from the airport. I would have taken a cab, but last time I did that Suzanne was upset.”
“You mean Mom.” Posy leaned on her horn as someone pulled out in front of her. “And I’m not stressed. She’s thrilled you’re home for Christmas. I’m glad you came.”
Hannah knew her sister’s words were driven by her love for Suzanne. She envied her sister’s ability to love so fearlessly and completely. Posy handled love the same way she would handle a difficult rock face—boldly, and without fear of falling.
For Hannah, it was a true demonstration of bravery.
It made her feel cowardly.
She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, but doing so made her think of Adam and that made her feel even more cowardly. She opened them again. “Tell me how everything is. I feel out of touch.”
“An email or a phone call would help with that.” Posy’s hands tightened on the wheel. “Sorry. Ignore me. Too much to do, too little time—you know how it is. Update. Right. Dad’s busy. The Adventure Centre is doing well. Martha stopped laying for a while, but I can’t imagine you’re going to lose sleep over that. Mom’s business is thriving. The café is insanely busy, but that’s good, too. Bonnie and I have been busy with the mountain rescue team and I’ve been doing a lot of ice climbing. I think that about covers it.”
“Ice climbing?” Hannah shivered and pulled the edges of her coat closer together. The fabric was damp and cold. “I hope you’re careful.”
“Now you sound like Mom.”
“How is she?”
“No
t bad, considering. This is always a difficult time of year for her.”
“Yes.” Hannah’s stomach did a strange roll. It was a difficult time of year for her, too. In the distance she could see snow-covered mountains and for a moment she wished she’d stayed in Manhattan. She could have made some excuse and hidden away in her apartment. She didn’t have to put herself through this. Mountains made her conscious of her failures and frailties. As a child, she’d wondered what was missing in her that she couldn’t feel the same passion for climbing her parents did. Whatever it was she’d lacked had meant she was excluded from the club that contained all the people she loved.
“She still has nightmares.” Posy glanced in her mirror and checked the road. “Twenty-five years and she still has them. I don’t understand that.”
Hannah understood it.
Hannah had her own nightmares, although she was sure hers were different from Suzanne’s.
“It’s the time of year.” She hoped her sister didn’t intend to linger on this particular topic of conversation.
Posy drove confidently, her eyes fixed on the road. “Didn’t expect to see you home this early. Something happen?”
I think I might be pregnant.
“I had a window in my schedule.”