“Do you really think I’d be here if there was an easier way? He doesn’t get it. That’s why I left him with the girls. But if I know Jason, he’ll call his mom.”
“You love his mom.”
“That’s not the point. It will mean the kids won’t starve or miss ballet, but it will also mean that nothing will have changed.”
“Why do you want to go back to work?”
“Because I’m boring, have no conversation and have forgotten how to do anything except play princesses and fire stations.”
“You’re not boring.” Posy took a mouthful of burger. “Actually, right now you are boring. But normally, you’re not.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m your sister. I’m supposed to tell you the truth. So your plan was to come here alone with no luggage and decide if you want to go back to work?”
“I wanted to try on a life that isn’t mine and see how it fitted. I wanted to order the salmon and the steak.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Hannah flies everywhere first-class. She has this amazing job and an apartment with a view to die for.”
“Which she never sees because she’s always on an airplane.” Posy put her half-eaten burger down. “You seriously envy Hannah?”
“She doesn’t have to answer to anyone. People listen to her and pay her good money for her expertise. She can shop in Bloomingdale’s without having to stop her child touching everything or running away. She never has to share anything. Yes, I envy her. Is that really such a surprise?”
Posy, who had never envied Hannah, was at a loss for words. “You want Hannah’s life?”
“I’d like to have the freedom she has. Does that make sense?”
“Not a lot, but that’s probably because you’re drunk and I’m sober. Eat your burger.”
“I came in from my job interview and he didn’t even ask how it went.” Beth picked the lettuce out of her burger. “We said awful things to each other, and the next thing I was grabbing a cab to the airport. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy with my life, like you and Hannah?”
Posy shifted uncomfortably. “Everyone questions their life once in a while.”
“You love what you do. My earliest memory is of you climbing. First it was the kitchen table, then the cabinets, and then Dad took you bouldering. Remember that?”
Vague, indistinct memories swirled around Posy’s head. “I think I remember the boulder, but not Dad.”
“I remember because Suzanne was there, and they had a fight.” Beth stared into the fire. “I remember her saying, Rob, you can’t let a three-year-old climb that. It’s dangerous. And he laughed and put you on that rock anyway.”
Posy frowned. “Our mother wasn’t there?”
“Yes, but she thought Dad was some sort of climbing god. If he said something was safe, then it had to be safe. Listen to your father, she used to say.”
It frustrated Posy that she couldn’t remember her parents. All she had was photographs. “Where was Hannah?”
Beth fiddled with her drink. “They left her in the van with her book. Suzanne often stayed with her because she didn’t like the fact that they left her alone. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because it was our normal, but sometimes I look at my girls now and wonder how they could have done that. No way will I be leaving my kids on some lonely campsite when they’re eight years old. The thought of what could have happened makes me cold. I remember Dad hauling you in front of friends and boasting about what an amazing climber you were. You were always Dad’s favorite and he didn’t bother hiding it.”
Posy squirmed. It made her uncomfortable to hear it. “I didn’t apply for that position, I can assure you.”
“It was his fault, not yours. It’s only when you have your own kids you realize what awful parenting it was. I’m careful to treat both girls exactly the same. I don’t ever want them thinking Jason and I favor one of them over the other.” Beth finished her food. “I might have to borrow pajamas from you.”
“Sure.” Posy dug her hand into her pocket and pulled out money. “You can choose between llamas or unicorns.”
“I like my nightwear to be sexy. I should pay for this.”
“I’ve got it.” Posy pushed her way to the bar and handed Aidan the money. “Thanks.”