He spread his hands. “Beth, please—she is going to make you miserable.”
“You don’t want me to go back to work. You want another child, but you barely see the two you already have.” She saw his expression change, but it was too late to pull the words back.
“I take the girls on Sunday mornings while you have time to yourself.”
“And you go to the park and spend quality time. And because you don’t see much of them during the week, spending time with their daddy is a treat for them. It’s not the same when you have them day in, day out, when you’re trying to get them out of the house in the morning and they don’t want to wear what you want them to wear, or eat what you want them to eat. When you’re with the kids and you have to take a call, you hand them back to me. I have to take calls with both girls tugging at me and talking to me.”
“My calls are important.”
“Whereas nothing I do is important? That’s exac
tly why I want to go back to work.”
“Do you know how many women would like to be in your position?” He didn’t bother disguising the exasperation in his voice. “You have a great life, Beth.”
She was so stunned that for a moment she couldn’t move. “You don’t know anything about my life. You’re not here.”
“Because I’m working day and night to earn money that you then spend on yet another fire engine and princess outfit.” His voice hardened. “Maybe if you could say no once in a while, I wouldn’t have to work so hard! I’m the one hauling myself out of bed in the dark to go earn enough money to keep us all. I’m the one playing politics day in, day out, to make sure I don’t lose the job that brings in enough money to allow you to stay at home! It doesn’t take a genius to see who has the easier deal here.”
She was so outraged she couldn’t respond.
This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t be speaking to each other like this.
Her insides were boiling and she felt tears of frustration and fury sting her eyes.
“Right.” Finally she found her voice. “Well, if being at home with the kids is so easy, then maybe you should try it for a while. Give yourself a break from hauling yourself out of bed to go to work, and haul yourself out of bed for the kids for a change. Take a break from playing politics, and play fire engines. Take your eye off Ruby for five seconds and see what happens.” She stalked across the bedroom and grabbed her coat.
Jason watched her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you the opportunity to immerse yourself in parenthood, seeing as you seem to think that’s the ‘easier deal.’” She dragged open a drawer so violently a lamp toppled over. She caught it before it hit the floor. She could barely see through the heat haze of anger but somehow managed to find her passport. “You can look after the girls and enjoy some quality time.”
“Oh for—” He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “The last thing we need right now is drama, Beth.”
“Drama?” She slammed the drawer shut. She’d never felt so angry. Never. “This isn’t drama, Jason. This is me feeling strongly about something, and you not listening. The kids’ schedule is written down in the kitchen.” She emptied the contents of her purse into a larger bag. Her hands shook. Her heart was pounding so hard she half expected it to burst from her chest. They’d never had a fight like this. Never. “The number for the pediatrician is in the drawer, along with the dentist’s number and the numbers for Melly’s school. Don’t forget ballet. It’s half an hour earlier than it used to be. Make sure you’re there in plenty of time. Melly needs to change and gets upset if she’s late. And she hates the black tights, so make sure you take pink. And pack a spare pair in case of accidents.”
“Wait—” His face had drained of color. “You’re leaving me? And the kids?”
“I’m not leaving you. Nor am I leaving the girls. I would never, ever, leave our girls. I’m simply doing what you do every day, which is to walk out that door and leave another person with full responsibility for our family. When I am sure you really understand the impact of having another child, we can talk again.”
“You can’t be serious. This has got out of hand and you need to calm down.”
It was the worst thing he could have said.
“I’m calm.” If you didn’t count the fact that she was seeing him through a red mist. “Maybe you need to start listening.”
“What are you going to do? Walk around the corner and order a coffee somewhere until I text you an apology?”
“I’m having a week to myself to think about my life.”
“A week? But—you haven’t even packed a bag. You never travel anywhere without at least two suitcases.”
“I can buy whatever I need. That’s what I do, isn’t it, Jason? I spend your money.”
He sucked in a breath and spread his hands in a gesture of apology. “I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I think you did.”
“But—where will you go?” As it sank in that she really was walking out, he seemed to deflate. He looked so bemused and shell-shocked her anger receded a little. But not enough to make her change her mind.