There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes. “Yes. It’s the best Christmas gift. And talking of Christmas gifts, tell me what you’d like and it’s yours. New dress? Coat? Sexy boots? Think about it and write a letter to Santa.”
I’d like to go back to work.
She’d counted on Jason adapting his schedule to finish work early a couple of days a week. She’d counted on him being there for the girls. It was as if he had mapped out his future and forgotten her.
“It was a shock, although a good shock, obviously—” he dug his fork in the rice “—but it got me thinking about you. About us, and our future.”
The vague feeling of resentment floated away, leaving warmth in its place.
“I’ve been thinking about us, too.” She took a mouthful of wine. “There’s something I need to say to you, and I’d like you to hear me out before you speak. We talked about it a while ago, but not recently.” Nerves fluttered in her stomach. She had no idea what his reaction was going to be.
“Stop.” Jason reached out and covered her hand with his. “I know what you’re about to say.”
“You do?”
“Yes. It didn’t seem worth mentioning again when the girls were little and such a handful, but they’re older now and you have more time on your hands.”
It hadn’t occurred to her that this might be easy. “You’ve been thinking about it, too?”
“It’s perfect timing for our family.” He went back to his food. “This is delicious, by the way. You’re a great cook, Beth. In fact, you’re great at pretty much everything.”
Did he realize exactly what it would entail? “If we did this, I’d be under a lot more pressure. I thought perhaps your mother might help out. And you’d have to help more. You wouldn’t mind?”
“We’re a team, Beth. And of course my mother will help. Try keeping her away. She’ll be as excited as I am.” He helped himself to more rice. “The timing of these things is never perfect, but this is about as perfect as it gets. We should go for it.”
She felt a rush of elation.
She should have talked to him sooner. She should have mentioned how lonely she was, and how she’d felt her skills and confidence slowly draining away. She was touched that he’d noticed she needed more. “How would this fit with your promotion?”
“Sam knows the score. I’m a father. Sometimes I need to be there for my family. I can juggle work and home. I’ve been doing it for years. It’s one of the reasons I wouldn’t leave the company. It has a great culture.”
Was juggling the right word? She knew that for her to work, too, they were going to need to display more juggling skills than a circus performer.
“It’s going to be a big change for us as a family, but I know we can make this work. I’m excited.”
“Me, too. I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.” Tears stung her eyes. She was so very lucky to be married to him. “Do you think the girls will be okay with it? I feel guilty.” She was desperate for reassurance that she wasn’t a bad mother. “I’m worried they’ll think they’re not enough.”
“It will be great for the girls. So they’ll have a little less of you...” He reached for his wine and shrugged. “Quality, not quantity, right?”
Beth shifted in her seat.
Did the girls have quality?
There were days when she felt the best she achieved was to hold it all together, but right now she was feeling too euphoric to indulge in a session of maternal self-flagellation.
Jason stood up and cleared the plates, and she followed him into the kitchen and fetched dessert.
Was it too late to call Kelly back tonight?
“I need to arrange a time to go and meet them. Is there a day this week that you could work from home?”
He piled the plates onto the countertop above the dishwasher. “Meet who?”
“The team.” Beth carried dessert to the table. Instead of the frothy, extravagant offering she’d planned for Hannah, she’d baked plums in rum and brown sugar. Normally she was careful with dessert, but she’d managed to convince herself this was fruit.
“You want to see someone before you’re even pregnant?” Jason sat down again. “Is that usual?”