“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I gave Ruby a firefighter outfit.” Hannah slid her feet into boots. “Santa found Bugsy.”
“Be serious.”
“I am serious.” Hannah batted her eyelashes at her sister. “Are you telling me you don’t believe in Santa? Bethany McBride Butler, I’m shocked.”
“Was it eBay? Because Jason and I searched everywhere. And how did you get him here in time?”
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m sure Santa has access to an excellent courier company when he needs one. Also, an excellent personal assistant who always manages to arrange the impossible and will most certainly receive a handsome bonus as a reward for her skills.”
“It must have cost you a fortune.”
“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The two of them went outside, closing the door behind them.
She’d spent too much time worrying, Suzanne thought. Too much time trying to fix things that in time would fix themselves. Too much time trying to mold her family into the shape she thought it should be, rather than letting it find its own shape.
She didn’t know what would happen with Posy and Luke, but if what they shared was strong enough, then it would work. If it didn’t, they’d handle it.
Any one of the girls could have problems in the future and, knowing life, they probably would, but she believed they had the strength to weather those problems.
And they had each other.
They weren’t just the Christmas sisters. They were the McBride sisters.
Stewart put his arm round her. “What did Posy want to talk to you about?”
“She wants to climb Denali in the summer.” There was more, of course, but she’d tell him about that later.
Stewart thought about it. “She has good Alpine experience and she did that crevasse training last year. She’s qualified to do it. Which route? The West Buttress?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t talked details.”
“And you’re okay with it?”
“I’m going to find a way to be okay with it. I’m going to learn to be as brave as our girls.” She leane
d her head on his shoulder. “And on that subject, I thought, maybe, you could take me climbing with you one day.”
“Seriously? You’d like that?”
She’d been thinking about it since her conversation with Luke.
The accident hadn’t just killed her friends, it had killed her sense of adventure.
And she’d let that happen.
“I’d like it. Nothing too challenging, at least not to begin with. But I’d like to get back out there again.” If Hannah could face her fears, then so could she. “I used to feel guilty that these kids were mine. That this life was mine.”
“And now?”
“I don’t feel guilty. This has always been a tough time of year. I’ve always felt that I had to compensate, to make up for what was missing. But the things that make it perfect aren’t the turkey, or the decorations, or homemade cookies.”
“You’re telling me this after I hung a million sets of fairy lights?”
She smiled. “I haven’t done half the preparation I usually do, and yet I feel happier than I ever have. Merry Christmas. I love you, Stewart McBride.”
“I love you, too. Merry Christmas.” He pulled her against him, his arms strong and sheltering.