“You—” Jason stared at her. “What?”
“I bought spares, although not five. I bought three.”
“Three?” He breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Then you have two spares back home? That’s the best news. You’re an incredible mother, Beth.”
It was time for a confession.
Beth stretched out her legs and winced. “I’m not incredible.”
“But if you have two spares back home—”
“I didn’t say I had spares back home.”
“But—”
“This isn’t the first time Bugsy has taken an unscheduled, unaccompanied trip without leaving a forwarding address.”
There was a long silence. “You mean you lost Bugsy, too? When?”
“The first time I lost him was—”
“Wait—there was more than one time?”
Beth squirmed. “I left him in that diner near the park. We went in for milkshakes one day, and Ruby started having a tantrum—I can’t remember why. Everyone was looking at me in that way they do when your kids misbehave. They’re all thinking about the way they’d handle it and how you’re not doing it right.”
“I know that look.” He caught her eye. “I didn’t use to know that look, it’s true, but then I spent time with them. Now I know that look.”
“All I wanted was to get out of there as fast as possible, so I threw some notes on the table and—” she dragged in a breath “—I left Bugsy. Right there on the seat. I called them later, but it had gone. So I used a spare Bugsy.”
“She didn’t notice?”
“I might have roughed him up a little to add to the authenticity.”
Jason looked stunned. “And the second time?”
“I left him on the subway.”
He rubbed his hand over his jaw. “You’re telling me you lost Bugsy twice, and you never said anything? I thought you were perfect.”
“No one is perfect, Jason. We’re human. We do our best, and that’s all anyone can do. You put me on this pedestal, and it was flattering, but it also always made me feel like a failure because I knew I wasn’t that woman.” She swallowed. “It wasn’t only that I felt you didn’t know the kids, I felt that you didn’t know me, either.” It was the most honest she’d been with him.
“I love you. I don’t care if you make mistakes. You have no idea how much better it makes me feel to know you lost Bugsy, too.” Jason pulled her to her feet. “And, by the way, I still think you’re an incredible mother in every way.”
“I don’t have a spare Bugsy.”
He wrapped her in his arms and she felt a rush of desire. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Mommy? Can I ride Socks?” Ruby wandered in and they broke apart.
Jason nudged the bag of presents farther under the bed with his foot. “No, honey. It’s snowing out there.”
“But I like the snow.”
“Maybe later if the weather improves, but right now Aunty Posy is busy and there’s a storm forecast.”
Beth saw Ruby’s lip wobble and picked her up. “The best thing to do in this weather is to bake a cake with Grandma. What do you think? We’ll do it together, the three of us.”