'I know, I know—you don't want to hear it,' she said hastily, stacking the boxes more neatly on the shelf in the hope that she wouldn't knock anything else onto the floor. 'You needn't worry. I don't expect you to say anything or do anything or feel anything in return. You've made it clear that you don't and that's OK.'
Well, it wasn't OK actually, but what choice did she have?
'Ellie, we've already established that this is a childish crush.'
She shook her head slowly. 'No. You thought that. I wasn't sure. But now I'm sure. I definitely love you.'
There was a long silence and when he finally spoke he sounded tired. 'Ellie, you're very young—'
'So you keep telling me.' She gave him a weak smile. 'But if this is the part where you tell me that this is just a passing infatuation and that I'll get over it, please, don't waste your breath. I don't have passing infatuations. I never have done and I never will do. With me it's all or nothing, and in this case it's definitely "all".'
Ben's shock was palpable. 'You don't know what you're saying.'
'Yes, I do.' She gave a faint smile. 'I suppose I should see the funny side, really. The first time I'm interested in a man, he doesn't know I exist.'
He lifted a hand and rubbed his rough jaw. 'Ellie, believe me, I know you exist.'
She gave a twisted smile. 'But you're not interested.' She bit her lip. 'Oh, hell, I've never propositioned anyone in my life before and this isn't even a leap year.'
His mouth tightened and he glanced through the glass panel in the doors to the corridor outside, a muscle working in his dark jaw.
'We can't talk about this now,' he said roughly. 'You've got patients waiting.'
'There's nothing to talk about anyway.' She gave him a brave smile. 'I shouldn't have said anything, except that you pushed me and I haven't had as much experience as you at hiding my feelings. Believe me, I'm working on it. In the meantime, please, don't worry about it.'
With a muttered oath he walked to the door and then paused, his hand on the door handle. 'We'll talk about this later.'
Would they?
What was the point? Ben clearly didn't want any sort of relationship with her.
She watched him go and carried on to the end of the shift, her insides in turmoil.
Will caught up with her as she went to get changed to go home.
'Ellie, look, I was an idiot earlier.' He pulled a face. 'I'm sorry.'
'Freddie had appendicitis. Which just goes to show that you were rather judgmental, don't you think?' She looked him straight in the eye and he shifted slightly.
'Absolutely. You're totally right. Ben's already torn a strip off me.'
Ellie stared at him in surprise. 'Oh...'
Well, good for Ben.
'Just to show there are no hard feelings, how about a quick drink after work?'
Ellie hesitated and Will must have sensed a refusal coming because he carried on hastily without allowing her to speak.
'Everyone's coming. You didn't make the pizza the other night so why don't you join us?'
She didn't feel like a drink, but she didn't really feel she could refuse a second time.
'Everyone's going?'
Will examined his fingernails. 'Most people.'
Maybe she'd go for five minutes.