The end.
She’d thought she had her feelings under control, but watching Daniel laughing with the rest of the staff was incredibly painful.
Next year he’d still be here, raising a glass with the staff.
Where would she be?
She didn’t know. All she knew was that it had to be somewhere far from Daniel but the thought of that made her feel sick.
How was she going to live without him?
How was she going to get through each day if he wasn’t part of her world?
She’d tried that before, hadn’t she, and her life had been flat and colourless. And it was no good telling herself that she’d meet someone else one day because she knew she wouldn’t. What she felt for Daniel was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It was real. For her there never would be anyone else, she knew that now.
Horrified by that realisation, Stella melted out of the room and hurried down the corridor, frantically blinking back tears—refusing to let them fall. She knew that if they started to fall, they might not stop.
But holding back the tears required an almost inhuman effort because she knew that no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she never would meet anyone else. How could she? After Daniel, any man she met could only be second best. And because she wasn’t willing to settle for second best, she knew that she was going to always be on her own. No family. No children.
Alone.
The corridor blurred, and Stella pushed open the door to the tiny room where they kept all the sterile packs. Shutting herself in, she leaned back against the door and drew in several deep breaths, trying to compose herself.
She’d never cried at work before. Never. It was so unprofessional of her.
And she didn’t understand the awful feeling of finality that was hanging over her like a death sentence.
All right, so Daniel obviously wasn’t feeling the way she was feeling, but that shouldn’t matter. She’d already made up her mind that the only way to move forward was to leave and, in a way, his reaction just confirmed that her decision was the right one. She couldn’t work alongside him any more.
She knew that. So why was she so upset?
The door behind her back was pushed open and she gave a little gasp and held it closed, horrified to think that someone might see her like this. ‘Just a minute.’ But the door kept opening and she had no choice but to step back and let whoever it was enter the room. Instinctively she rubbed her fingers over her face and smoothed her hair, trying to eradicate the evidence of her loss of control.
‘Why are you hiding in a cupboard?’ It was Daniel. He closed the door behind him, his eyes searching her face. ‘You sprinted off before I could give you your Secret Santa.’
The fact that he’d come looking for her was horrifying.
Given her current state of emotional meltdown, he was the last person in the world she wanted to see.
He’d know it was about him.
Cringing with embarrassment, she tried to look as though nothing was wrong. As though it was normal to take refuge in a cupboard. ‘You drew my name?’ She turned to take something from one of the shelves, trying to hide her expression. ‘That’s a coincidence.’
‘Stella, put the dressing packs down. I can’t talk to you while you’re clutching dressing packs.’
‘Daniel, go back to the staffroom and I’ll be there in a minute.’
‘Actually, I don’t really want to give you your Secret Santa in front of everyone.’ He turned her to face him and frowned. ‘You’ve been crying.’
Dear God, could he see that?
‘I’m not crying.’
‘Don’t lie to me, Stella. We’ve never lied to each other.’
‘No. We never have.’ Stella focused on his shirt and decided that there was no reason not to be honest. Their whole relationship was such a mess, what was a bit more carnage? ‘I made a mistake coming back, Daniel. I thought that two years was long enough for me to have moved on. I was wrong.’
‘Yes. It hasn’t been easy.’