He’d blocked out almost all his memories of childhood Christmases, but he was entirely sure that his face had never looked as bright and happy as Alfie’s.
Christmas had been a battlefield, with carnage strewn where there should have been presents and goodwill.
‘Uncle Daniel? You’re looking all funny.’ Alfie peered at him through the folds of his brightly coloured scarf. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I’m OK.’ Daniel cleared his throat and pushed his way through the black thoughts that rolled across his brain like menacing stormclouds. ‘Let’s get this tree sorted out. Is this a good place for it?’
Alfie dropped the scarf on the floor and nodded his approval. ‘It looks good.’
‘It looks big.’ Stella was laughing as she removed Posy’s hat and coat and Daniel glanced towards her and found he couldn’t look away. Her blonde hair slid in a smooth, shiny sheet over her coat and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. He looked at her lips and knew that if he kissed them now, they’d be cold. And he also knew they wouldn’t stay cold for long. The heat the two of them managed to generate would melt the polar icecap.
Her gaze met his and he saw her smile falter as her thoughts slid in the same direction as his.
‘Dad got the decorations out for us.’ Alfie dragged a huge box across the room. ‘You have to do the lights first. Stella? You’re not concentrating!’ His excitement was infectious and Stella turned back to him, her cheeks even pinker than they’d been a few moments earlier.
‘I hope these lights work.’ She helped him unravel the lights, chatting easily about what he’d been doing at school and his part in the nativity play. Posy was popping bubble wrap and giggling with delight.
Daniel had a strange feeling of detachment—as if he were watching them from the other side of a pane of glass.
Was this how Christmas was supposed to feel?
Aware that Stella was looking at him, he forced a smile. ‘Are all those bulbs working?’
‘Yes.’ Stella stood up. Her cheerful red skirt had ridden up her thighs, exposing a mouthwatering length of leg encased in shimmering black.
Devoured by lust, Daniel made a frustrated sound in his throat and turned away. ‘Where do you want me to put these lights?’
‘All the way round the tree.’ Alfie was dancing with excitement. ‘Start at the top.’
Stella handed him the end of the lights and their hands brushed.
‘Did you get a shock or something, Uncle Dan?’ Alfie was concerned. ‘You sort of jumped.’
Putting a safe distance between himself and Stella, Daniel started winding the lights around the tree. ‘I didn’t get a shock.’
‘But you jumped. I saw you.’
‘I didn’t jump.’
‘But—’
Daniel sent him an exasperated look. ‘Are these lights where you want them?’
Alfie stepped back a few paces, crunching a bauble underfoot. ‘Oops.’ He looked down guiltily. ‘I’ve broken it.’
‘I’ll clean it up. Make sure Posy doesn’t go near it.’ Stella hurried towards the kitchen and Daniel had a feeling she’d been glad of the excuse to leave.
His instincts were confirmed when she carefully brushed up the broken pieces of bauble and then made her excuses.
‘Now you’ve got the tree in place, I really ought to go.’ Her tone was bright and cheerful, but Daniel wasn’t fooled. She was finding this as difficult as he was.
‘No!’ Alfie was appalled by that suggestion. ‘You can’t go now. You promised you’d help decorate the tree. You have to stay for marshmallows and we’re going to watch The Grinch.’
‘Sounds like fun.’ Stella stooped and hugged the child and Daniel watched her pretty face soften into a smile as Alfie hugged her back.
If ever a woman was born to be a mother, it was Stella.
Which was why he’d broken it off, he reminded himself grimly. Because Stella was a woman who needed children around her and being with him would have robbed her of that chance.