The emotion was like a punch to her chest. “Oh, that’s terrible.”
“Yes. And so is drinking and then getting behind the wheel of a car.”
“How do you ever get over something like that?”
“You don’t. If you’re lucky you learn to live alongside it. You find ways to keep going. Susan’s way was to throw herself into work. I guess she feels that although she couldn’t save her own family, she might be able to save someone else’s.”
“But she’s never married again. She lives alone?”
“She has an apartment near mine.”
“What is she doing for Christmas?”
He frowned. “I have no idea. Why?”
“I just wondered, that’s all.” Harriet paused as they reached a set of lights. “Do you want to come home with me?”
“Now? It’s already almost four in the morning.”
“My place is closer. And I can make you breakfast.”
“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.” He pulled her into his arms. “Thanks for coming tonight. I’m glad you did.”
“Me too.”
SUSAN MADE A remarkably swift recovery.
Three days after her surgery she was dressed and walking around her room.
“Are you sure you’re supposed to be expending so much energy?” Harriet watched her doubtfully. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“I can rest when I’m dead. Which I almost was, so I guess I already rested. Is that chicken soup?” She gazed hopefully at the container Harriet was lifting carefully out of the bag.
“It is. I added a touch of cream to give you extra calories. You’ll probably lecture me about the health of your arteries.”
“My arteries have never been happier, thank you.” Susan took the container from her, sat down and started to eat. “I never knew food could even taste this good. If Ethan doesn’t marry you, I will.”
Harriet almost dropped the rest of the food. She was relieved Ethan wasn’t here. “Ethan isn’t going to marry anyone ever again.”
“That’s what he says.”
“And you don’t believe him.” She probably should have stayed silent but the temptation to talk about him was too great.
“I don’t think he knows what’s good for him. I think working here has screwed him up some. It happens. And he’s divorced. Ethan is big on responsibility. If you’ve been hanging around with him, you probably already know that. It’s the reason he says yes to looking after his sister’s dog even though it totally disrupts his life. It’s the reason he steps in front of a crazy drunk with a knife and sits half the night in a drafty corridor waiting for news about a colleague. He holds himself to high standards. And he likes to take care of everybody. From what I’ve heard, it’s in the genes. Rock solid family. Community people who would give you the shirt from their back. Remember that and you’ll understand why he thinks he failed at marriage. Blames himself, although I can tell you now that Alison would say she was more than half to blame and if ever two people were wrong for each other, it’s those two. Now you—that’s a different ball game.”
Harriet was about to ask how she knew Alison when she remembered that it was Ethan’s ex-wife who had been part of the live “fly on the wall” documentary set in the ER.
“How is it a different ball game?”
“He’s been different since he met you.”
Harriet’s heart bumped a little harder. She wasn’t going to read anything into that. “Different in what way?”
“More approachable. More human.”
“If Alison wasn’t right for him, why did he marry her?”
“Now that’s a question I can’t answer, but if I had to guess I’d say he didn’t think about it too deeply. She rocked up here one day with her blond hair and there’s Ethan, all shoulders and muscle in his scrubs, saving a kid. She was gone. I saw it happen. What they should have done was screwed each other’s brains out and then waved each other goodbye, but for some reason he put a ring on her finger.” She stared sadly into the empty soup container. “Is this hard to make? Could an idiot cook make it? When they send me home, I want to be able to make this.”