“Why? What did you do?”
Fliss stared out the window, letting her mind slide back to the past. “It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that he wasn’t mad. And—he surprised me, that’s all.” And she’d surprised herself with what she’d revealed. “I thought he’d say his piece and then I’d leave. I thought that would be the end of it. And every time I saw him after that I’d wave and say, ‘Hi, Seth.’”
“But—?”
“He wants to see me again.” Fliss let out a breath. “I didn’t see that coming. He should be staying away from me.”
“It doesn’t look to me as if that’s what he wants.”
“But what does it mean? He said he wanted to spend time with me. So is that time as a friend, or time as more than a friend?”
“Do you always think this much about relationships?”
“Yes, but that isn’t the point. The point is that I don’t have a relationship with Seth.”
“But clearly he wants one.”
“Why? Where is this all going?”
“I don’t know. Maybe all he wants is friendship. Or maybe he doesn’t know either. Maybe he just wants to spend time with you and see how it turns out.”
And how would it turn out?
“I thought the whole point of having the conversation we had last night was to get it out of the way so that we could move forward. And now he wants to rewind the clock. It’s confusing, and I don’t like feeling confused. It’s stressful.”
Melissa smiled. “Do you always overthink everything?”
“Sometimes.” When it was something that could hurt her? Always.
The baby looked so peaceful, her eyes closed.
Fliss envied the simplicity of her life. At that moment she would have swapped places.
Matilda stirred. “Could you hold her for a moment while I run to the bathroom?”
Fliss thought about the way the baby had felt in her arms. “You don’t want to put her in her crib? She’s asleep. Seems a shame to wake her.”
“Exactly. The moment I put her in the crib she wakes up, and I don’t want her to wake up. And anyway, it’s an excuse for you to have a cuddle with your namesake.”
Fliss had been searching for excuses not to have a cuddle, but admitting that would have required explanations she didn’t want to give, so she took the baby carefully, hoping that her bruised heart proved more robust than the last time she’d handled little Rose. “I hope I don’t wake her up. I haven’t had that much to do with babies.”
There was an ache inside her. Regret? Longing?
If you hadn’t lost the baby we’d still be together.
Was that true?
The thought made her feel sick. It brought back all the “if onlys” she tried never to allow into her head.
“You’ll be fine.” Matilda vanished from the room, stepping carefully over Hero, who didn’t shift his gaze from Fliss and the baby. He’d obviously decided that Rose was now his priority.
“You think this is easy?” Fliss stood without moving, desperate not to wake the baby. “Try putting your paw on a thorn and then pressing down hard. That’s how it feels.”
Hero yawned.
“I would have expected a little more sympathy, given all the outstanding walks you’ve had from me. You owe me.”
Still watching her, Hero settled his nose on his paws, a benign bodyguard.