“Why?”
“Because that’s what I do when someone tells me they love me. And as usual I feel completely horrible about it.”
“He told you he loved you? He said those words? You didn’t misunderstand him?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
“Why unfortunately? You told me this was the best relationship you’ve ever had.”
“It is. It was. But that was because he said he wasn’t capable of falling in love. For the first time in my life I felt completely free and safe. We had so much fun.”
Mark leaned against the table. “So it was good, but you’ve ended it.”
“What choice did I have? He told me he loved me. It’s not going to be safe and fun anymore. It’s going to get deeper and more complicated. I never wanted that! He’s never fallen in love before. Why did he have to pick me as the exception to that rule? It’s so unfair.” She saw the corner of Mark’s mouth twitch. “Are you laughing?”
“Molly, you have to appreciate the irony. I don’t know the guy that well, but I’m guessing there are plenty of women who would have done anything to hear him say those words.”
“Which makes me feel a thousand times worse because it’s wasted on me.”
With a sigh, Mark sat down next to her and put his arm around her. “You’re not abnormal. If you don’t love him, that’s okay. Daniel is going to understand. He’s not Rupert.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I know he’s not Rupert. For a start, I told him far more than I ever told Rupert.” She’d told him far more than she’d ever told anyone. And telling him, sharing, had brought a new level of closeness to their relationship. When someone knew something about you that no one else did it was like giving them a key to a locked door. They had access. They knew what was inside. She’d let him in, and now she had to find a way to get the key back from him. “You know the stupidest thing? He had this crazy idea that I was in love with him, too! Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous?”
Mark took his time answering. “Is that ridiculous?”
“Of course it’s ridiculous. I’ve never fallen in love and you have no idea how hard I’ve tried. I’m not in love with him, Mark.”
“I heard you. You’re not in love with him.”
She shifted so that she could look at him. “You sound as if you’re humoring me.”
“I’m not humoring you.”
“You’re humoring me, and I don’t get it. I mean it’s true we had a good time, and yes I told him a lot of things. Things I haven’t told anyone before. But that’s because he’s easy to talk to. Not because I’m in love.”
“Right.”
“And it’s also true he has qualities I admire greatly. For example, I liked the fact that he was strong. I don’t mean physically, although his shoulders are like something from a superhero movie, I mean emotionally. When Valentine was sick and I was falling apart, he was so calm. Steady.”
“He was calm and steady last night, too.”
“Exactly. Calm and steady. And he didn’t care that Valentine was sick on his favorite suit. And I like the fact that he knows all the best restaurants in Manhattan but he’s equally happy to eat pizza out of the box.”
“Can’t beat pizza out of the box.”
“Then there’s the fact that I have hormones and he’s sexy!” She shrugged, dismissing it. “But that’s sex, right? Not love.”
“Totally sex. Nothing else.”
“And of course it would never have worked, because he’s not a dog person.”
“True. He’s not a dog person.” Mark carefully removed a piece of fluff from his jeans. “Although he was good with Valentine.”
“Yes, but he’s generally good in a crisis. I guess that’s to do with his training. He’s used to handling things.”
“And he walked Brutus—”
“He did that to meet me.”