She sat for a while longer, lit a candle for her grandmother and trudged home, through snowy streets and a crowded subway, jostled by families overloaded with packages and excited about Christmas.
Paige was at a function with Jake, while Frankie and Matt were traveling back from a job in Connecticut, which meant she’d have the apartment to herself.
Alone. But this time it wasn’t her solitude that was at the front of her mind, it was his.
Lucas.
She unlocked the door of her apartment, dropped her bags by the door and flopped onto the sofa without bothering to take off her coat.
What was he doing now that he’d finished his book? He no longer had an excuse to hide himself away. Who would he share his thoughts and secrets with? Would he go through the rest of his life without revealing the truth about his dead wife to anyone but her just to protect Sallyanne’s family?
&nb
sp; * * *
“So are you joining us for Christmas? Your brother will be here. Goodness knows it’s hard enough to get the two of you in a room at the same time. Lucas, are you listening to me? Why are you staring out of the window?”
Lucas turned and tried to give his grandmother his full attention. The only thing in his head was those few breathless moments when Eva had told him she loved him. How had that happened? He’d put up barriers, and she’d breached them. “Sorry. What did you say?”
“I said that I’m marrying a twenty-one-year-old opera singer and moving to Vienna.”
“That’s good to know.” He thought of the night Eva had cried. Was she crying now? Guilt tore at him.
She’d walked out. Eva had walked out. She’d said she loved him. She’d exposed her heart and offered him everything.
And then left.
He breathed deeply, acknowledging the truth. She’d left because he’d given her no reason to stay. And why would he? Love couldn’t be that easy, could it? It couldn’t be as simple and uncomplicated as Eva made it seem.
“Lucas?” His grandmother’s voice was gentle. “It’s always delightful to see you, of course, but why come here if you didn’t want to engage in conversation? Are you going to tell me what’s troubling you, or are you just going to stand there staring out of my window?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I brought you a Christmas gift.” He handed her a neatly wrapped parcel. “You can open it now if you like. You don’t have to wait until tomorrow.”
His grandmother took it and placed it on the side table. “Unless your gift is the news that you proposed to Eva, it can wait until tomorrow.”
“Proposed?” Lucas tensed. “That isn’t going to happen.”
“Because you’re a stubborn fool?”
“Because I’m not in love.” Even as he said it, he knew the words felt wrong, like putting on a coat that didn’t fit.
His grandmother watched him thoughtfully. “Would you like a slice of cake?”
That was it? One minute she was talking about love and the next she was talking about cake? “You’ve been baking?”
“Eva did the baking.”
“She was here?”
“Why do you look surprised? My relationship with her preceded yours, Lucas.”
“How did she seem? Was she upset?” He wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be. If she was upset then it meant he’d upset her, but if she wasn’t then it meant she didn’t care. That she hadn’t meant those things she’d said to him.
Love couldn’t be that simple.
His grandmother reached for her glasses and slid them onto her nose. “Did you give her reason to be upset?”
A thousand reasons, but he was damned if he was going to tell his grandmother the intimate details of his life, no matter how much chocolate cake she’d fed him as a child. “It’s a difficult time for her. She lost her grandmother last year.”