“I’m sorry about that. Talk about awkward.” Eva was wrapped up in her scarf, her voice muffled. “Tom was embarrassing.”
“He’s protective of you. He wants you to be happy, that’s all.” And being with him wouldn’t make her happy, he was sure of that. Not in the long-term. Tom’s words had proved a sharp reminder that Eva wasn’t a woman to be satisfied with a brief, superficial relationship. Everything about her went deep. Her feelings, her hopes and her expectations.
He thought she was wrong about a lot of things, including her ridiculously fairy-tale views on love and marriage, but he didn’t want to be the one to prove that to her. It would be like catching a butterfly and breaking its wings. Over the past few weeks he’d grown to admire her steadfast optimism. He didn’t want to find out what it would take to break that.
And it didn’t make any difference to him that Tom had been married twice. It wouldn’t have mattered to him if Tom had been married six times.
He’d done it once, and that was it. As far as he was concerned, having your heart ripped out once in a lifetime was more than enough. But right now, Eva was the one who was vulnerable, not him. He guarded himself so carefully he was bulletproof.
“My grandmother and Tom were great friends. It was generous of you to play billiards with him.” Eva waited while he unlocked the door of his apartment. “And to let him win.”
“I didn’t let him win. He thrashed me.” He didn’t add that he’d been paying more attention to her than to the game. He watched as she walked into the kitchen and flicked on the lights. Something was different about her. She’d lost her usual bounce. “Interesting guy. Did you set up that conversation about falling in love twice in a lifetime?”
“No.” Turning her back to him, she poured herself a glass of water. “I haven’t seen him since Grams died and you were the one who offered to come with me.” She lowered the glass. “What he said wasn’t exactly revolutionary, Lucas. It isn’t part of a conspiracy. He believes in love, that’s all. And of course he would, because he’s experienced it twice. When something has happened to us, we don’t have any trouble believing in it.”
“I never said I didn’t believe in it. Just that I didn’t want it again. But Tom does.” He wondered why she wasn’t looking at him. “My guess is he’d make you his third wife given half a chance.”
“Maybe that’s the answer. I should marry Tom.” She took a swallow of water and put the glass down. But she still didn’t look at him.
“What’s wrong?” It bothered him that there was something she wasn’t sharing.
“Nothing. Are you hungry?”
“No. I ate enough carbohydrates at the party to insulate me for a month in Alaska.” He followed her into the kitchen and closed his hand over her shoulder. “I want to know what’s going on in your head.”
Instead of relaxing and sliding her arms around him, she stayed rigid in his arms. “I miss her, that’s all.” Her hair brushed against his chin and he lifted his hand and stroked her back gently.
“Do you wish you hadn’t gone today?”
“No.” She eased away from him, but she still didn’t look at him.
“Did someone say something that upset you?” There had been plenty of occasions when he hadn’t been by her side when that could have happened.
“No. They were all lovely. I promised Annie I’d go back soon. But now I have some work to do and I’m sure you do too after giving up a whole afternoon for me.” She grabbed her purse and her phone and made for the stairs.
He stared after her in frustration. She wasn’t someone who hid her feelings well, so to see her trying so hard to do so made him uneasy.
“Eva—”
She paused at the top of the stairs. “Thanks for coming with me today. I enjoyed talking to them, and talking about Grams was good, too. It helped. I thought it would make me miss her more, but it didn’t. It made me feel better.”
He frowned. If she was feeling better, why was she looking so thoroughly miserable?
Eva locked the bathroom door and sat down on the edge of the bath.
She was in love with Lucas.
Tom had seen it right away, so why hadn’t she?
She’d assumed falling in love would feel like a long, slow slide into a comfortable warm pool. She hadn’t anticipated the suddenness, more of a plummet than a slide, that ended in a breathless plunge into water that felt shockingly deep. Everything felt out of her control. It left her breathless and unbalanced. Terrified and exhilarated and yet at the same time she had no doubt it was real, that what she was feeling was something deep and permanent that wasn’t going to be erased by time.
Because she’d known him for only a few weeks, and because she didn’t want to fall for him. It wasn’t wise or sensible. He wasn’t interested in another serious relationship. She’d seen how uncomfortable Lucas had been when Tom had mentioned that he’d been in love twice.
Not that she wasn’t capable of having a relationship just for fun, she was. But Lucas—
She swallowed hard, remembering the reassuring warmth of his presence when she’d walked into the Garden Room. She remembered the way he’d held her when she cried, the way he’d stayed by her side at the ball, fiercely protective. The way he’d listened to her chatter and laughed at her observations. The way he savored her food.
He was everything she’d ever wanted, and so much more.