She stared at him.
Was he right?
For years she’d thought her problems stemmed from her mother’s lifestyle choices. From the evidence that relationships were mostly fleeting and didn’t last.
She thought about her father. He’d walked away without looking back, unimpeded by responsibilities or memories. He’d thrown them off like a snake shedding its skin, teaching her that there was no bond that couldn’t be broken, no declaration of love that couldn’t be withdrawn.
“You’re right.” Her voice was croaky. “Why didn’t I see that? I was always closer to my dad growing up. He called me his ‘baby,’ his ‘little girl.’ If something happened at school, he was the one I told first. He taught me to swim, he took me sailing. He was like a god to me. When it all happened, at first I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know what to do. Every little secret he asked me to keep destroyed another part of our relationship. He made me part of his deception and I found that hard to forgive. I didn’t know whether to tell my mother or not.”
“You were fourteen. No fourteen-year-old should have to make that decision.”
“I lost all respect for him and—” she paused “—I lost my ability to trust.”
“Of course. The one person every little girl should be able to trust is her daddy.” His tone was rough. “Did you tell her? Did your mom know that you knew?”
“No. She was wrecked after my dad left. Some days I stayed home from school because I was afraid to leave her on her own. She kept sobbing over photo albums, staring at every image, wondering if he’d actually loved her then or if it had all been a lie. It almost destroyed her that he had an affair with someone half her age. I was scared to leave in the morning and scared to go home after school. I didn’t know what I was going to find. Paige and Eva took turns coming home with me. That went on fo
r ages, and then suddenly she woke up one morning and decided enough was enough. She got her hair cut, lost some weight, starting taking things from my wardrobe—” She shook her head. “It was almost easier to deal with her being upset because that only involved me. This new version of her involved the whole community. She drank too much and twice the police chief drove her home. I wanted to die. And I started to hate the island. Somehow, over time, I managed to equate this place with all the bad things that happened. I couldn’t wait to go to college.”
“And how do you feel about the place now?”
Matt’s arms were locked around her like a safety barrier, and she stared at the flicker of moonlight on the surface of the ocean.
The world around her looked different.
“I’d forgotten how much I love it. It’s so peaceful. You could live here and not know a single thing that was going on in the rest of the world. Also, it feels different. Back then it was all about my parents, but this weekend has felt as if it’s about me. About us. And it’s given me a different perspective on the past.”
“You mean talking about your father?”
“Not just that. I used to think the locals crossed the street to avoid me, but now I realize I was the one crossing the street because I was embarrassed to look them in the eye.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I think about it a lot. Whether I should have told my mother. Whether I should tell her now. Most of the time I think there’s no point, but there’s this big secret sitting between us like a wall and I can’t get past it. Before Dad left I was so scared and confused, and after there seemed no point because by then she knew anyway, and I was afraid of making it worse. She hated my dad, and I was afraid she’d hate me, too, if she knew.”
“They were both adults, Frankie. You were the child. You shouldn’t have had to carry that burden and make those decisions.”
She felt the stroke of his fingers through her hair. “You think I should tell her?”
“No. But I wonder if it might help you feel better.”
She looked at him. “Your relationship with Caroline didn’t stop you trusting?”
“No.” His fingers brushed her cheek. “It shook my trust for a little while and maybe I’m more careful because of it, but my foundations weren’t rocked in the way yours were.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re not that careful. You’re here with me. A Cole. We have a reputation for being unreliable heartbreakers.”
His eyes glittered in the darkness. “Did I mention that I like to live dangerously?”
“Did I mention that I’d like you to rock my foundations?”
He raised an eyebrow and a smile touched his mouth. “Are you flirting with me again, Ms. Cole?”
“I think I might be but I still don’t have much experience. I’m working on it.”
“Happy to help you with that.” He swung her up in his arms and carried her into the cabin.
Chapter Fifteen
She who dreams is not always asleep.