Now she was here, all her insecurities came rushing back.
The fact that sex had never played a big part in her life had never bothered her much, and she realized now it was because it had never mattered enough. She’d never cared enough to be disappointed. To her, sex had been an activity fraught with complication and weighed down by uncomfortable memories of the past. But she’d never experienced the same electrifying urgency she felt with Matt.
She wanted him desperately. So desperately that the hum of physical awareness was something that seemed to be permanently switched on whenever she was near him. It had been that way since the kiss. And she wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to rip at his clothes and explore, a feeling she’d never had before. She wanted all of him, and the only thing stopping her was the fear that she was going to disappoint him. And herself. What if reality didn’t live up to the promise and expectation? Never before had she felt this delicious, intoxicating excitement. It was like being injected with a drug, and she didn’t want the feeling to vanish.
“Talk to me.” His voice was soft. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“This is never going to work.” Given everything he knew about her, she saw no reason not to be honest. She hated keeping secrets. She already had more than enough of those locked inside her. “Every time I go to bed with a man it’s a disappointment. I’m bored. He’s bored. You’d probably have more excitement trawling the internet. I can’t—I mean I’ve never—” And that was something else she’d never told anyone. “Never mind.”
“You could never bore me, Frankie.” He slid his thumb across her burning cheek. “And you don’t need to be stressed.”
“I’ll decide what I wa
nt to be stressed about.” If a situation had ever been more stressful she couldn’t remember it. “I’m an adult. I own my stress levels.”
He smiled. “Sometimes the way to handle something you’re afraid of is just to do it.”
“Like going to the dentist, you mean?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty confident the experience will be a few steps up from that. Do you trust me?”
“Of course, but that has nothing to do with this.” She made another desperate attempt to make him understand. “I don’t think I’m very sexual. I’m not built that way. Or maybe the whole thing with my mom has just made me so tense I can’t relax enough to do it. I don’t know, but I do know that you being insanely hot isn’t going to change anything. You think this is going to work because you’re a rampant sex god who is going to be the one to show me what I’m missing?”
“No, I know this is going to work because I care about you and you care about me. And also because I want to rip your clothes off the whole time. That’s another clue right there.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips across her neck. “Stop thinking about how it was before, and focus on how it is now.” He was so self-assured, every movement was smooth and confident whereas she was a shivering wreck.
She closed her eyes, trying to control the waves of sensation. Her heart was thumping so hard she thought he must be able to feel it. “Matt—”
“Have I ever hurt you before?”
“No, but we’ve never—”
“No is all you need to say. You don’t need the but. If I do anything you don’t like, or that makes you feel uncomfortable, all you have to do is say and I’ll stop.” His hand curved around the back of her neck and his lips trailed from her neck to her jaw, hovering tantalizingly close to her mouth. She wondered if he was doing it on purpose, teasing her, making her wait. Waiting increased the tension, and underneath the tension was excitement.
Her nerves and uncertainty didn’t change the fact that she wanted him with every fiber of her being.
She didn’t have the chance to speak because he lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her in a slow, seductive exploration that made her pulse pound. It was every bit as exciting as it had been the first time, and she gave a little moan and grabbed for the front of his shirt. This part she could handle. If only he’d stop at this, they’d probably ace it.
He pushed her back until her shoulders were pressed up against the door. She could feel the hardness of his thighs caging hers, and feel the thickened pressure of him against her. Trapped, she gave a little moan and wrapped her arms around the solid power of his shoulders.
Kissing Matt was a whole-body experience. She felt it right through her, little shivers of excitement chasing across her skin and sliding into her limbs. Her hands tightened on his shoulders, her fingers digging into hard male muscle. She was grateful for his strength because she wasn’t confident she could rely on her own body to keep her upright. Fortunately, she didn’t need to worry about that because he kept her clamped against the solid power of his body, holding her trapped while he kissed her. His mouth was hot and hungry, his kiss both demanding and explicit. His free hand slid upward, cupping the heavy weight of her breast through the thin layers of her clothing. It was the first time he’d touched her so intimately and she tensed. He paused and then dragged his thumb slowly over the tip. Sensation shot through her like a lightning bolt and she moaned against his mouth. The craving was so acute it was hard to stay still. She felt his hand tighten on her hip, holding her still while the other continued to tease every nerve ending in her body with slow, delicious strokes that left her shaking. She could feel the hard, heavy ridge of him pressing against her and still he kissed her, holding her trapped.
Suddenly, it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She didn’t want him touching her through her clothing; she wanted to feel all of it and she urged his hand down to the hem of her shirt. Without lifting his mouth from hers, he flicked open the buttons and pulled off her shirt, so that all that was between her and him was the confection of silk and lace that Eva had insisted she wear. She didn’t feel him unfasten it but he must have because she felt the soft slide of fabric whisper over her skin as it slid to the floor. And then he drew her deeper into the warmth of his mouth and she closed her eyes. His tongue slid in slow, delicious circles that sent her excitement levels soaring. Until that moment she’d had no idea that pleasure could be agonizing.
Without warning, he scooped her up and carried her to the bed.
He deposited her onto a downy nest of cushions and throws and she sank into a swirling world of sensation as he finished undressing her. Matt ripped off his shirt and she had a brief glimpse of taut muscle before he came down on top of her. The hair on his chest grazed supersensitive skin and then he was kissing her again.
The window was open, and the only sounds were the hiss of the sea as it lapped at the sand and the uneven tone of Matt’s breathing as he kissed his way down her body and eased her thighs apart.
For Frankie, sex had always been a deeply unsatisfying fumble in the dark, but the cabin caught the full force of the late-afternoon sun, the warmth of the rays spilling over her skin and spotlighting every inch of her naked body.
She felt the maddeningly gentle flick of Matt’s tongue at the top of her thighs and tried to wriggle away.
“Stop!” Mortified, she tried to push him away. “You can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“It’s too embarrassing—”