She nodded.
‘I’m attracted to you, Katrina. Very attracted. I haven’t felt like this about anyone since…’ He shook his head. ‘Since I don’t know when. Though I’m not going to do anything about it because I agree with you that relationships between colleagues are a bad idea. But, just so we’re clear on this, I want you to know that your hearing difficulty has absolutely nothing to do with why I’m not going to ask you out. It’s part of you, and I think because of it you’re more aware of other people’s feelings. You read body language better than anyone else I’ve ever met, so no doubt you’ve already guessed what I was going to say.’
‘I did wonder.’ She bit her lip. ‘And you’re perceptive. You saw when I was struggling today and you sorted it out without making me feel stupid, the way Pete did.’
‘Stupid?’ Rhys blinked. ‘What the hell was wrong with the man? You’re not stupid. You’re practically ready to be registrar now. You’ll ace your exams.’
‘I hope so.’
‘I know so,’ Rhys said, taking her hand again and squeezing it.
She licked her lower lip and it set his pulse racing.
‘Don’t do that,’ he begged, releasing her hand.
‘Do what?’
‘Lick your lip like that. Because it makes me want to…’ He dragged in a breath. ‘It makes me want to kiss you. And, quite apart from the fact I’m trying to stay away from you, we’re in the middle of the hospital canteen. If I do what I really want to do right now, the rumour mill will zip into action so fast it’ll practically explode.’ He forced himself to take a sip of his coffee, but the cup clattered against the saucer as he returned it. ‘You could have me on a harassment charge for admitting that.’
She shook her head. ‘Like I said, you’re perceptive. So you must have guessed it’s the same for me. Right from when I first met you.’ She raked a hand through her hair. ‘I can’t take that chance either, Rhys. I can’t risk it all going wrong—I love it here and it’d break my heart if I had to leave, the way I did in my last job.’
‘I’m not Pete, so it wouldn’t come to that,’ he said, ‘but you’re right. We can’t do this. Because you deserve the kind of happiness I don’t think I could give you. I mean, sure, we could have a wild affair.’ It was a mistake, putting it into words: he could already feel his body’s reaction to the idea of making love with her, and the way Katrina’s pupils dilated slightly told him that it was the same for her.
Oh, lord.
He needed to get some control here. And fast.
‘But I’m not looking for marriage and a future,’ he continued, ‘and it’s not fair of me to ask you to give up the chance of meeting someone who can offer you what you want.’
‘So where do we go from here?’ she asked.
‘We stay as we are. Colleagues. We’re both strong enough to put our careers and our patients first.’
‘And that’s the right thing to do. The sensible thing,’ Katrina agreed.
‘Good. So we’re clear on that.’
‘We’re clear,’ she agreed.
He should have been relieved. But he wished things could have been different. ‘When we’ve finished our coffee, we’ll go back to the ward. You go your way, I’ll go mine. We work together. And eventually we’ll both get over this blip and we’ll be able to look at each other without…’
‘Wanting to rip each other’s clothes off?’ she suggested.
He groaned. ‘I think I should’ve ordered a cold shower with that coffee. But, yes. That’s what I mean. And I know I’ve already said it, but I think it bears repeating: just so you know, this has absolutely nothing to do with your hearing.’
‘Thank you,’ she said solemnly. ‘I appreciate it.’
He was still angry on her behalf. Her ex had really done a number on her. Part of him wanted to kiss her better, to show her just how desirable she was. But then they’d end up with a complication they could both do without. Katrina deserved to find happiness with someone who could give her what she needed—which ruled him out.
Right now, they had a deal. And he had every intention of sticking to it. No matter what his body thought.
CHAPTER SIX
THEY managed to keep things on an even keel for the next few weeks—though Katrina knew the second that Rhys walked into the room, even if her back was turned and she couldn’t hear him, and she was pretty sure it was the same for him, too. The awareness. The longing. The wondering.
We could have a wild affair. His words echoed in her head. Maybe they should. Maybe it would get things out of their system and then they could go back to being colleagues.