‘No, but I can try.’ And by allowing Dino into her life she was risking not just her own happiness, but Jamie’s. When Dino decided that he’d had enough of her, it wouldn’t just be her that suffered, would it?
Her mother measured out flour and added it to a bowl. ‘I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. Sometimes, Meg, you need to take big strides through life, even if that means falling over. You fell, hard. And now you need to get up again. You need to be brave.’
Meg was affronted. ‘I am brave.’
‘Yes, when you’re walking through a blizzard, or hanging off the end of a rope. But then you’ve never been scared of the physical stuff. If it doesn’t frighten you then it isn’t brave. And what frightens you is the emotional stuff.’ Catherine added eggs to the flour and whisked. ‘I’m glad he stayed the night.’
‘I didn’t plan that. But you gave him a key so he barged his way in.’
‘Good. You can thank me any time you like. I’m not sorry about that. I am sorry we caught you unawares. I should have thought of that and phoned first.’
‘Nothing happened, Mum.’ Horribly uncomfortable, Meg pushed her hair out of her eyes. ‘He slept in Jamie’s room.’
‘Meg, I may be old but I’m not stupid. And neither are you. If you let that man sleep in Jamie’s room then you are even more of a desperate case than I think you are.’ Her mother gave a tiny smile. ‘Really, you don’t have to lie to me. I know I’m your mother, but frankly I’m delighted that you’ve finally had sex. Looking at Dino, I have every confidence that it was excellent sex. I’m thrilled to see you finally letting your guard down. Can you pass me some milk from the fridge?’
Meg dragged open the fridge door and stood for a moment, hoping that the cool air would reduce the heat of her face. ‘I don’t want him to come and get the Christmas tree with us.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s a family trip. Our routine.’ She closed the fridge door and handed her mother the milk. It was impossible to contain her fears. ’And because he’s just being polite. I’m sure the last thing he wants is to spend the day with us.’
‘You don’t know that. He doesn’t strike me as a man who has a problem with decision-making. If he didn’t want to come, he would have told you. I think you’re spending too long second-guessing him. Sometimes you just have to take people at face value.’
‘I did that once before, remember?’
‘Yes, I remember.’ Catherine poured milk slowly into the batter mixture, whisking all the time. ‘But you can’t let that one episode of bad judgement affect all your life choices.’
Meg frowned. ‘You think Hayden was bad judgement?’
‘Appalling judgement. It was completely obvious that he was shallow, selfish and totally focused on himself.’
‘It was obvious?’
‘Right from the first day.’
Meg scowled. ‘But you didn’t think to mention it?’
‘You were nineteen. Would you have listened if I’d mentioned it?’
‘Probably not.’ Meg put her coffee down on the table in a huff. ‘But given I’m so much older and wiser now, perhaps you’d better tell me now what you think about Dino.’
‘I think he’s clever, good looking, responsible, strong…’ Her mother whisked skilfully. ‘Sexy, of course, but I’m sure even you can see that bit without me pointing it out.’
‘So he’s Mr Perfect.’ But her mother was impervious to Meg’s sarcasm.
‘No. There are shadows there. Scars.’ Her mother frowned. ‘He’s led a real life. A life with ups and downs and traumas. A life like any other. But he’s man enough to face those things head on and deal with them. Learn from them. He’s not the sort to run from anything awkward or difficult.’
Meg gaped at her. ‘How long have you spent with him?’
‘I don’t need long. It’s one of the advantages of getting on in years. You have plenty of past data to draw on. Can you rinse some blueberries? Dino didn’t look too excited at the combination of maple syrup and chocolate. The least we can do is feed him something he enjoys.’
‘Mum, I don’t have any blueberries! I don’t have anything in my fridge except the basics, you know that. I know how to cook food a seven-year-old likes. Spaghetti. Meatballs. Chicken in breadcrumbs.’ Meg’s mood dropped even further. Good sex wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship, was it? ‘If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, I’m doomed.’
‘Well, let’s hope Dino likes chicken in breadcrumbs. Just remember to throw out mouldy cheese. There are blueberries in the basket by the door. I brought them with me. And a Christmas cake that I iced for you.’
‘Thanks.’ Her mind in turmoil, Meg smiled absently. ‘Jamie will love that.’
There was a pause while her mother put the bowl to one side. ‘Why didn’t you go to the ball?’