“I’d save you by alerting the lifeguard.”
“That doesn’t count.”
“You’re alive at the end of it, so it counts. The secret of success is the ability to delegate a task to the most qualified person. If I tried to save you, we’d both drown. Talking of which, you might be right about today. We shouldn’t have left her,” Josh said. “Let’s go back. Who wants to go rafting on the Colorado River, anyway?”
Why did he have to make her laugh? She was doomed. “We do.”
“You do. It always seemed like a bad idea to me. Still does. Particularly now I know I’m expected to save you. Turn the car around.”
Was he serious?
The sudden stab of sympathy pierced those unsettling images. “Is this very hard fo
r you? Doing this without your brother?”
“Being without him is hard—it doesn’t matter much what I’m doing.”
She wanted to stop the car and give him a big hug, but instead she kept the conversation light. “In that case, we might as well go rafting. You can’t back out now. Not when I’ve spent my life savings on this experience for you. You’re welcome, Martha.”
“You’re persistent, Martha. You’re a pain in the neck, Martha.”
She patted his thigh and then wished she hadn’t because the moment her fingers made contact with hard muscle those images came rushing back, along with a scorching rush of attraction. You’re a fool, Martha! “No need to be scared. And no need to worry about saving me. I’ll save you.” Although she had a feeling she was the one who might need saving, and not from the water. But she didn’t regret doing this, no matter the cost to her. She hated the thought of him taking this long trip alone, hitching a ride from place to place, making small talk with whoever picked him up, thinking about his brother the whole time. He would have carried that sadness with no one to help bear the load.
Although it had to be said that right now he didn’t seem particularly pleased that she was by his side. She could feel him glowering at her from under the brim of his baseball cap.
“You’re trained in white water rescue?”
“Not specifically, but the people I’m paying to escort us are, and I’m generally resourceful. If you promise to stop complaining, I’ll promise to rescue you if you fall headfirst into the water. You’re going to love this. And I honestly think it will be good for you.” And unless the searing burn of sexual attraction didn’t fade soon, she’d be glad of the excuse.
“Oatmeal is good for me. Doesn’t mean I love it.”
“Would you have been like this if Red had been sitting in this car with you?”
Josh gave a reluctant laugh. “I would have been worse. Red never would have let me get away with a day trip. He would have booked a week on the toughest part of the river. Probably unguided.”
“Terror can bond people, I hear.”
“Is that why you’re doing this? So I’ll cling to you?”
“I don’t need an excuse for that. When I’m ready to grab you, I’ll grab you.” And at this rate, it was going to be sooner rather than later.
“A little warning might be helpful. For example, are you going to do it while driving? Given that you’re a relatively inexperienced driver, you might want to pull over first.”
“I was inexperienced in Chicago—I have tons of experience now. And I’m not sure when I’m going to grab you.” She shot him a look. “I’ll do it when the time is right. When it comes to decision making, I’m still feeling my way.”
“Any time you want to feel your way with me, go right ahead.”
Oh Martha, Martha. “Are you flirting with me?”
“Possibly. It’s possible I’m trying to take my mind off the nightmare you’ve so generously planned for me.”
“And I need to make sure that getting physical with you is what I want, and that I’m not only doing it to please Kathleen.”
He turned his head. “I understand you letting me join you on this trip to please Kathleen, but you’d have sex with me to please Kathleen too?”
“I’m a generally accommodating person. It’s something I need to be mindful of when I’m making decisions.” She managed to keep her expression serious. “She’s vulnerable right now, and it would make her happy to know that her little plan to bring us together has worked. She thinks I need to get my confidence back.”
“Do I get any say in any of this?”