Elaine sank onto the sofa and shook her head. ‘I have to take him back, Hope.’ Her voice cracked. ‘We can’t keep him here. I can’t risk going through what I went through the other night with you. I know it’s hard, but we have no choice.’
‘But I promised him he’d have a home and be loved.’ Hope was sobbing now, great tearing sobs that shook her tiny body. ‘I promised him, Mummy, and I can’t break a promise. He’ll be all on his own again. He’ll think no one loves him.’
‘I’ll have him.’ Jenna blurted the words past the lump in her throat and then stood in stunned silence, absorbing two things. Firstly, that she’d just got herself a dog, and secondly that making that decision had felt incredibly liberating.
For once she’d thought about herself. Not Clive. Not her mother. Herself.
Realising that everyone was looking at her, she shrugged. ‘I’d like to have him. Really.’ She looked at Hope. ‘And I’ll love him and give him a good home. So you won’t have broken your promise…’
A tearful Elaine exchanged glances with Ryan. ‘You want to take the dog?’
‘I do.’ Jenna spoke the words firmly, almost defiantly. Like a wedding ceremony, she thought with wry humour. Do you take this dog…? Only she knew without a flicker of doubt that the dog would never disappoint her. ‘I really do. My daughter will be thrilled. And any time you want to come and see him, or meet up on the beach to throw a stick or two, you just bang on my front door…’
Ryan took a deep breath. ‘Jenna, perhaps you should think about this—’
‘I’ve thought about it for about thirty years. I’ve wanted a dog since I was a child.’
But her mother had said no. Then Clive had said no.
The advantage of being her own woman, in charge of her own life, was that there was no one to say no. And even if someone did say no, she wasn’t sure she’d listen any more. She’d been weak, she realised. She’d allowed her own needs to come second. Her life had been about what Clive wanted. What Clive needed. And she’d been so busy keeping him happy, determined to keep her marriage alive and prove her mother wrong, that she’d stopped asking herself what she wanted.
Jenna straightened her shoulders and stood a little taller. ‘If you wouldn’t mind holding on to Black for one more day. I need to buy a book, check on the internet—make sure I know what I’m doing. A patient I saw last week breeds Labradors—I’d like to give her a ring and chat to her before I take Black.’ Suddenly she felt strong, and the feeling was good—almost as if happiness was pouring through her veins.
Elaine gave a delighted laugh, relief lighting her face. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘I’m completely sure.’ And she had no need to ask Lexi what she thought. Lexi had wanted a dog all her life. ‘I can take him with me on my visits—tie him to my bicycle while I go indoors. When I’m in clinic he can either play with Evanna’s dog, or just stay in our garden. I’ll find someone to build a fence.’
Elaine looked worried. ‘Black rarely does what people want him to do.’
‘That’s fine by me.’ Jenna stroked her hand over the dog’s head, thinking of how often she’d disappointed her own mother. ‘Maybe he and I have something in common. Welcome to rebellion.’
‘That would be a good name,’ Elaine laughed. ‘Rebel. You should call him Rebel.’
‘Just hope he doesn’t live up to his name,’ Ryan said dryly, closing his bag. ‘There’s a dog-training session every Thursday night in the church hall. You might want to book him in.’
* * *
‘He ate your favourite shoes?’ Laughing, Evanna leaned across the table and helped herself to more lasagne. ‘You must have been mad.’
‘With myself, for leaving them out.’ Jenna was smiling too, and Ryan found it impossible not to watch her because the smile lit her face. He loved the dimple that appeared at the corner of her mouth, and the way her eyes shone when she was amused.
She was smiling regularly now, and the black circles had gone from under her eyes.
Extraordinary, he thought, how Glenmore could change people. ‘What does Lexi think of him?’
‘She adores him. She’s the only teenager on Glenmore up at dawn during the summer holidays, and that’s because she can’t wait to walk him.’
Evanna cleared her plate and looked longingly at the food. ‘Why am I so hungry? Do you think I could be pregnant again, Logan?’
It was only because he was looking at Jenna that Ryan saw her smile dim for a fraction of a second. Then she pulled herself together and joined in the conversation, her expression warm and excited.
‘Do you think you could be? Charlie is two, isn’t he? What a lovely age gap.’
Evanna agreed. ‘I always wanted at least four kids.’
Ryan wondered if he was the only one who had noticed that Jenna had put her fork down quietly and was no longer eating.
Perhaps it was just that she found the whole happy family scene playing out in front of her emotionally painful. Or perhaps it was something else.