‘My land now.’ His possessive declaration vibrated around the room. ‘That was the last piece. My father’s estancia is back in the family again.’
‘And your father?’ She felt the muscles in his body tighten and suddenly wished she hadn’t asked the question.
‘After my father sold the estancia, he took a job as a gaucho—a cowboy—working with horses on other ranches. I know, because I followed his trail. He kept moving on, restless.’
‘He didn’t make a home anywhere else?’
‘He never would have done that because his home was here. He died,’ Raul said roughly. ‘He died without knowing that I was back. He died before I made my first million and purchased the first thousand acres of land.’
And he’d died without giving his son the chance to tell him how much he loved him.
‘You say that there is nothing of your father in you, but I don’t think that’s true,’ Faith said softly. ‘You have his strength and his courage, his talent with horses and his love for this land.’
He looked down at her, his eyes fierce. ‘What my mother must have put him through—’he said hoarsely. ‘I swore that no woman would ever be able to do that to me or to any child of mine.’
For a moment Faith couldn’t speak be
cause she couldn’t get the words past the lump in her throat. ‘So it isn’t that you don’t like or don’t want,’ she said softly. ‘It’s that you’re afraid of loving and losing. Now I understand why you married me. You were determined to do everything possible to exert your rights over the baby.’
‘Faith—’
‘And I don’t blame you for that. If I’d been through what you have, I’d feel the same way, I’m sure.’ Faith stood still, thinking about what he’d said. ‘I wish you’d told me this, instead of just proposing. I would have understood.’
‘You would have run a mile, taking my baby with you.’ It was the most painfully honest conversation they’d ever had. ‘And you did run, Faith. Just hours after you married me, you ran. That’s what women do when things go wrong. That’s what my mother did.’
She bit her lip, understanding why her actions had triggered such a depth of emotion in him. ‘That’s true,’ she admitted, ‘I did. But you have to look at it from my point of view. When I told you I lost the baby you were relieved.’
‘I hadn’t expected to have to confront the issue of pregnancy at all. For me it was simpler if it just wasn’t there.’
‘I see that now, Raul, but at the time you hadn’t shared any of this with me. All I saw was a man who was so fixated on his own desire to stay single that he didn’t care about my feelings. You thought I’d become pregnant on purpose.’
‘Which was exactly what my mother did. And I wasn’t thinking about your feelings. I was thinking about mine,’ he grated. ‘Panicking. I know I hurt you and I regret that more than you know. I was a total bastard, but it wasn’t anything to do with you—I was protecting myself.’
‘Because you thought I’d hurt you?’
‘You have to understand that none of my relationships up until now have ever been based on anything other than sex,’ he confessed and she looked up at him, her heart executing a dangerously fast rhythm.
‘And now?’
‘You really need to ask that? It’s true that I’m totally out of control when I’m with you, cariño, but believe me when I tell you it isn’t just about the sex. I love the fact that you’re so bright and clever, I love the fact that everything in your head comes out of your mouth because it makes you so easy to understand.’
Faith was astonished. ‘You hate the fact that I want to talk!’
‘Not true,’ he asserted, bending his head and stealing a quick kiss. ‘In fact since you stopped talking, it’s driven me mad because I’m wasting so much time guessing what’s in your head.’
Her legs wobbling, Faith sank down onto the nearest sofa. ‘This is—’ She broke off and breathed in and out. ‘This isn’t the way I thought this conversation would go. When you walked away from me—I assumed you were horrified that I was still pregnant.’
‘I went to talk to the doctor. I’d managed to convince myself that there was something really wrong with you. You were so pale and tired—I wanted to make sure he’d taken a really good look at you,’ Raul confessed. ‘I’m not great at trusting other people with important issues. I virtually pinned him to the wall and made him recite everything he’d told you.’
Knowing Raul as she did, Faith had no problems imagining it. ‘And how did he respond to that?’
‘He wasn’t that impressed,’ Raul admitted wryly. ‘But he told me he was making allowances for a guy who was seriously in love.’
His words drove the air from her lungs. ‘He did? And did you tell him you don’t believe in love?’
‘No, because that wouldn’t have been true.’ He reached for her hands and pulled her back to her feet. ‘I didn’t believe in love, until I met you. And even then I didn’t recognise it. But apparently the signs are all over the place if you know what you’re looking for.’
Her heart pounding, Faith looked up at him. ‘Is that right?’