“Which is?” she asked, trying like hell to keep her mind off her PDA. Worrying about it all night long wouldn’t make it appear in her purse.
“It’s better seen than described. Kink’s not a BDSM club or anything like that, though I’m sure some of the people who go there are into the lifestyle. They do have a room that caters to that but it’s not really my scene. Kink’s more about the freedom to be yourself. However you want to be, with whoever watching.”
Kelly sat on the end of her bed and stared at her reflection in the mirror over her dresser. She wasn’t some neophyte sexually. She’d come a long way from her wallflower days in high school, and a lot of that was because of the confidence her sex list had given her. She’d taken control of her sex life in college, just as she’d regulated her diet and exercise to yield the best body she could. Maybe she’d never be a centerfold model or, egads, cute, but she made the most of what she had to work with.
Some guys found her attractive now. Even if keeping the list had become predictable and tedious, she stayed the course. Because that was what she did. Thanks to having unreliable parents who’d missed school events, ignored holidays and greeted birthdays with barely a hug, she’d fought to create her own family of friends and work. Anything to combat the loneliness she’d never fully been able to shake.
Much as she hated to acknowledge it, she missed her parents. Even now, her mom and dad were strumming guitars by a campfire in Sedona rather than returning home to celebrate their only child’s upcoming twenty-sixth birthday, despite her admission that she wished they’d come for a visit. So much for that.
She’d learned to make her own routines. And to cling to them. Routines meant safety. Familiarity. Boredom.
Hooking up with Spencer would definitely change things up. But the chances of it actually happening were pretty much nonexistent.
Even if he wasn’t sleeping with Leigh, that didn’t mean he was available. He’d spelled it out to her, hadn’t he? He was married to the store. And he didn’t mention that he was in the market for a mistress.
She needed, one way or another, to break her obsession with him. But Kink? How could any man she met there help her on her quest to get more out of life than work? A Kink guy couldn’t be long-term material. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even last until the weekend.
Maybe not even until the parking lot.
“I’m not sure, Lan. I’ve got work tomorrow. Early. And—”
“And you have your methodical little system going and you refuse to deviate from it. I know. Just come and scope things out. There’s a regular dance club in the vanilla section. You can hang out there if you’re not into the rest.”
“Yeah, and it’ll be super fun to hang there alone while you’re having group sex in the lounge.”
Alana wiggled her brows. “Oh, so you’ve heard of the lounge? How about the steam room?”
“I’ve heard stories,” she repeated.
“So why don’t you stop listening to talk and start checking it out for yourself?”
Kelly swallowed hard and reclined on her elbows. Maybe Alana was right. Despite her list, she really wasn’t a bad girl at heart. Truthfully the whole thing was becoming more trouble than it was worth. She hadn’t ticked off the last few guys she’d listed, and except for one of them, she didn’t even care.
She sighed. There it was again. That niggle for a boyfriend, for something real that didn’t begin with a name and a ranking. Next thing she knew her biological clock would start ticking and she’d be really screwed.
Nah, it was probably just an itch. Maybe even birthday-related. Birthdays tended to mess with people’s heads.
Her life was fine as it was. She had a nice one-bedroom apartment with a big bathroom and charming little kitchenette, complete with lots of bookshelves and plants. The space was hers and she loved it. She didn’t need to share that space with anyone to feel complete. And she didn’t mind when her occasional lovers hit the road with an “I’ll call” that never amounted to anything.
That was what she wanted.
Casual sex had always been enough for her before. She’d been discriminating about her lovers and made sure she liked them well enough in and out of bed. Her plan had worked perfectly for years.
But it had been months since she’d slept with anyone. She was sick of waiting and just as sick of wanting Spencer and knowing it could never happen. Not if she wanted to advance at her job without dealing with all sorts of gossip and innuendoes. Though Tony worked under Marcia and no one made an issue out of it. Of course, guys always seemed to operate under their own set of rules.
And that was even assuming Spencer was the least bit interested in her. Other than those blink-and-it’s-over glances at her breasts in his office, she’d never gotten a single vibe that he’d even noticed she was female.
Then again, her list had disappeared. Could this be a sign the time had come to step outside her comfort zone?
“I thought Kink had been closed down,” she said. Alana was staring at her, clearly waiting for an answer.
“Yeah, they have been. Several times. They wait a few months, try out a new location and shift things around.”
“How do they manage that? Wouldn’t that cost a lot of money?”
“The owners are loaded. Supposedly they’re ultra-kinky and the hubby came up with the club idea to please his wife. She gets off on watching people do each other, I guess.” Alana shrugged. “Who knows. That could be some urban legend. No one’s ever really investigated it, far as I know.”
Kelly gripped the cat’s-eye amulet dangling between her breasts, unable to come up with a response. Was she being silly? Should she just go with Alana and see where the night led?