“Uh,” he grunts. And just before he is about to nut, this mofo breaks the #1 cardinal rule. He fucking says, “I love you, baby.” That’s what the fuck he says. HE LOVES ME!! I scream in my head. Can you believe this shit?! This dries my pussy right on up, and jacks up my mood. It feels like someone has dumped a truck load of sand inside of me, that’s how dry my ocean of lust has become. Damn him! I knew I should have weaned him off this clit sooner. But nooooooooo! I have to be greedy and hold onto him. Now, there’s really no other recourse. This nigga has to go!
I blink, blink again, hoping my ears are playing tricks on me. I wasn’t planning to give up his ever-ready cock, yet, but I will…and I am if it isn’t some Freudian slip or some shit. “What did you just say to me?” I ask, twisting myself from up underneath him, and rolling him off of me. He collapses on the bed beside me, trying to catch his breath. I shoot him a look, then glance at his still hard dick. He pulls off the condom, then strokes it. Now under different circumstances I would have a mouthful of his balls as he jerked off, but…
“I said I love you,” he repeats. He stops jerking his “fucking” stick, and looks at me. “I didn’t mean anything by it. The pussy was feeling so good that it slipped out.”
I sit up in the bed. “So you didn’t mean love as in you love me, but as in you love this pussy, right?” I ask, giving him an opportunity to redeem himself since I know that while in the throes of sweaty, toe-curling passion we all are known to say shit we don’t really mean.
“Yeah, as in I love how my dick feels in your pussy,” he says, unconvincingly, getting out of the bed. He shoots me a look. “But, what if I did love you?”
I take a deep breath. “Then I’d tell you you’re a damn fool.”
“And why would I have to be a fool to love you?”
I tilt my head, stare him in his beautiful face. There’s an innocence in his brown eyes that I find endearing. I scan his perfectly chiseled chest that sweeps down into a narrow waist, then flows around rippling, washboard abs. I take in his muscular thighs that part to accommodate a beautifully thick, chocolate dick and two mouthwatering balls. If I could only wrap him and Garrett and Maurice up into one man, then I think I would have the perfect man. But, since I can’t, there’s no need to settle on one man, especially on one I know I will never—can never—give my heart to.
Now in the back of my mind, I’m thinking I should fuck him real good one more time, drop down on my knees suck him off, then give him his pink slip, but…I keep my gaze on his cock for few seconds longer, then look him in the eyes.
“Because,” I finally say, getting up from the bed. I walk up to him and touch the side of his smooth face, “I’m not capable of loving you back.”
He stares at me. “Incapable or unwilling to?” he asks, removing my hand from his face. He holds it in his, then kisses my palm. I can feel him searching for something I am unwilling to help him find.
I pull away. “Both. And after tonight, I think it is best we end this situation we got going on.”
He frowns, repeats what I’ve said. “Why’s that?”
I slip on my robe. “Because the arrangement was we fuck, we suck, but we don’t catch feelings. And you’ve reneged on the agreement.”
“Oh, okay,” he says, slipping on his jeans, “so I’m good enough to come through to climb up on your back, but not good enough to love, is that what you’re saying? As long as I fuck you on demand it’s all good, right? But feeling some kind of way about you, or for you, means this situation is over because you say so, right?”
“Basically,” I say, brushing my hair, then pulling it back into a ponytail. My pussy still aches for another round of dick. I glance at the clock. It is already four-thirty in the morning. In a matter of hours, the sun will be rising, and I will have to be getting ready for work. I fake a yawn. “Listen, it’s late, I need for you to hurry up and go.”
He hurriedly pulls his white tee over his head, then puts on his pinstriped button-up. “Yeah, you right. I gotta get outta here,” he says, snatching up his Timbs. “You on some real bull-shit at the moment. You act like there’s something wrong with a muhfucka diggin’ you. But it’s all gravy. Do you, ma.” I can hear the hurt in his voice.
He walks out the room and heads downstairs. I follow behind.
I stare at him. He looks let down, but what can he say, or do. Not a damn thing. “Listen,” I offer, “I’ve had a great time with you, but this journey was bound to run its course anyway. It’s best that we end it sooner, rather than later.”
He turns and shoots me a look, sucking his teeth. “We aren’t doing anything. You are. But like I said, it’s all good. No biggie. You right, it was good while it lasted. So, I guess I should thank you for wetting my dick.”
“That’s not really necessary. Like I said, I enjoyed the time we’ve spent together.”
“Yeah, as long as I don’t use words like love around you. And you know what’s really got me bugging? I almost feel used.”
“Used?” I repeat, frowning. “Wade, let’s not exaggerate here. I would hardly say you were being used. We both benefited from this. I wanted to fuck, and so did you. It was something we both mutually agreed on. So, please, don’t go there.”
“Yeah, but that’s not all I want…I mean, wanted from you. I told you I was digging you. I wanted to get to know you. Go out. Do some shit other than fuck all the time.”
“Well, that’s all I wanted from you—to fuck. And I told you from the door those extras were things that weren’t available to you, which is why I stressed ‘no-strings-attached,’ because I do not want to be attached to anyone. Not right now, anyway.”
“Then when? When you get tired of having different muhfuckas run up in you,” he says, shocking me. “Yeah, I know you like getting your fuck on. But, c’mon, at some point you need to stop playing yourself, and let love in so it can do what it do.”
I tilt my head, placing my hand on my hip. “And what would that be, huh, Wade?”
He walks up on me, pulls me into him, then kisses me forcibly. I feel myself getting caught up in his storm, and being pulled into its winds. He pulls away before I get swept away.
“Love you,” he says, gazing at me. I knew then he really had feelings for me. Humph. I almost feel sorry for him, standing here looking all pitiful and whatnot. Poor thing. But he knew the rules. Now, I’ll admit. Good dick is my weakness. But, it’s something I’ll never be a fool over. And my mind is made up. There will (can) be no more fucking between us. Damn him!
“That’s not what I’m looking for.”