“You’re the accountant, Ging. You talk to him.”
“You’re as impossible as he is,” she groans. “I tried talkin’ to him. He won’t budge. Says he doesn’t need the money—that ridin’ provides enough.”
“I’m sure it does.” I know it does. I’ve seen what Battle makes from rodeo purses and endorsements. He could leave bull riding tomorrow and still be set for life.
“That’s not the point.”
I laugh. “Piece of advice, Ging, don’t fight him. You won’t win.”
She grumbles about Battle being stubborn and ends the call.
I recall Battle mentioning how he cut ties with the McCoys. I suppose donating his share of the family fortune is his way of severing the connection for good.
My phone rings again. I assume it’s Ginger, calling back and I answer with a laugh. “Ms. Callahan.”
“Hmm. You have a sexy phone voice, Ms. Callahan,” Battle drawls through the line. “What are you doin’?”
His voice heats my core, causing me to squirm. “I’m lookin’ over my new clients paperwork.”
He chuckles. “Worse than mine?”
“I haven’t decided yet, but thank you for smoothin’ things over with my boss.”
“You free for lunch?” he asks.
“I think my new clients are gonna keep me busy until clockin’ out time.”
“Then you need to fire them.” He laughs.
I do make time for lunch, and over the next few weeks, Battle and I spend all of our free time together. He’s charming and sincere, funny and intense, and I feel myself slipping comfortably into his life.
Erinn and I are becoming fast friends, mostly because she knows I’m the sucker that will let her eat fruit snacks whenever she wants. Battle says she mopes if I’m not at his house when she comes over. Even Roy and I are attached. He’s always at my feet, lifting my hand with his snout for attention.
This middle ground we’ve adapted appears to be working out, but I have concerns. I hide them well. Actually I deny them all together. Thinking about what it will do to me if Battle decides to walk away hurts, but anxiety robs my ability to function, and the only cure is ignoring my fears. Burying my head in the sand may be foolish, but for now, it’s the only way to get through the day.
While I know we’re more than friends, our relationship hasn’t progressed physically past hand holding or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie. We haven’t kissed, but we came close when he took me for a ride on his horse around the lake to watch the sunset.
I haven’t heard from Wyatt. My parents and I are speaking, but not nearly as often as we used to because I can’t listen to them try to convince me that Battle is a bad guy. He’s not. He might be flawed by circumstances beyond his control, but he’s pure of heart.
There are times I think I believe in him more than he does; times like the other night when he showed me a picture of his mother and shared stories with me about how she used to attend every ride and cheer him on. There’s a part of Battle that already misses his mother, and he hides his emotions for her and Erinn.
His mother has been begging him to bring me to dinner. Tonight, we’re finally making it happen. She opens the door and smiles a warm greeting.
It’s hard to reconcile the frail woman in front of me whose shorts and t-shirt hang on her with the picture of her at Battle’s house from only two years ago. While she’s pencil thin, her abdomen protrudes and her ankles are swollen. Dark purple circles frame her crystal blue eyes, which stand out against the colorful scarf covering her head. Her hand trembles uncontrollably as she reaches for me. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re as
lovely as Battle said were.”
“Thank you,” I say, smiling, although it doesn’t come easily as my heart struggles to accept her appearance. Is it not enough she has to lose her life? Does cancer have to take her hair, her breasts, her organs, and her beauty? Does cancer have to take everything? Of course it does, because it’s a vile disease derived from some unexplainable cruelty. I want to cry, but I don’t want to upset her.
“Come on into the kitchen. James is nearly finished with dinner.”
Erinn pounds into the hardwood floor of the living room, playing Just Dance on the Wii. I manage to get a quick wave from her as I follow Battle into the kitchen. We sit at the table and Battle introduces me to James. Through the conversation leading up to dinner, I learn James is Evelyn’s boyfriend. They went to high school together and reconnected on Facebook a few years back. Two weeks after James moved in with Evelyn, they found out about the cancer. Another 'fuck you' delivered by the heartless disease.
My earlier sadness transitions to anger, and I do my best to hide it, though I can feel it seeping out of my pores. Battle and his mother bicker briefly over Erinn attending summer school, but Evelyn won’t budge as Erinn struggled with her grades as much as her socializing over the school year and has to make them up. They also debate her going to a specialized school. Evelyn wins that argument as well, as the school is forty-five minutes away. With radiation appointments wearing her thin, she refuses to make the drive.
Throughout dinner, I lose count of the number of times Evelyn laughs with the lighthearted nature of a little girl. She clings to each spoken word like they’re a precious gift, which in her case, they are. I understand clearly why she doesn’t show her sadness or anger. There’s no time for emotions that don’t make her smile. I admire her resolve. Cancer will claim her life, but she’ll never let it take her spirit. I think she’ll take her last breath with a smile on her face.
After dinner, I help James clear the table and do the dishes. Battle and Evelyn maintain a quiet conversation at the table. I don’t hear much until their voices rise.