“Don’t make me horny,” she reprimands. “Nothing good can come from you making me horny.”
“We have different definitions of good, clearly.”
“Rafe,” she says, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.
I run the tip of my index finger over the bridge of her nose, right where she has that cute little dusting of freckles. “I’ve missed these.”
Virginia sighs, wraps her arms around my neck, and hugs me. “Stop making it so damn hard to be strong. I have to tell you no this time. It was too hard when I said yes.”
“I know,” I murmur, securing my arms around her waist and pulling her close.
“I can’t deal with you dumping me again. I adore you, you know I do, but I can’t go through that again. Floating so high, and to be thrown right off my cloud. It sucked. I was so happy, and then you knocked my legs right out from under me over nothing. I just can’t.”
“I was happy, too,” I tell her.
“If you were happy, then why did you ruin it?” she demands. Before I can even think about answering, she says, “That was a rhetorical question. I know why, but it still sucks. Understanding doesn’t make it any less frustrating.” Finally, she pulls away. “The point is, I’m not doing that again. I can’t. I don’t know how much more my feelings for you can endure before they break, and neither of us wants that.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Virginia.”
“I know you’re not, Rafe. But unrequited love hurts. It just does. That’s how it works.” She shakes her head like I’m simple not to know that, then wanders down the hall. “I’m sleepy. Lock my door on your way out.”
I already locked her door, but she was too worried about baking a damned cake to notice. I walk back in her kitchen and hit the light, then I head through the dark apartment to her bedroom. She didn’t bother turning on the light, but she’s standing with her back to me, taking her bra off. Her work shirt has already been discarded, but her pants are still on.
Her hair is down. I love when her hair is down. I saunter up behind her just as she drops her bra, and I bring my hands up to cup her breasts and take their place.
“Let me help you with that,” I murmur, brushing my lips across her shoulder.
Sighing, she says, “Rafe…”
“I won’t fuck you,” I promise, massaging her breasts, squeezing them as I nuzzle her neck. “I just want to touch you. Just let me touch you, Virginia.”
“Remember when I told you not to make me horny?” She mutters her complaint on a sigh, arching her back and letting her head fall back on my shoulder.
Smiling faintly, I run my lips up the side of her neck. “I think I do remember something about that.”
“You’re failing in that mission. Leaving me hot and bothered is mean, and giving me an orgasm would be worse. There’s no happy way out of the hot water you’re steeping us in right now.”
“Then we might as well enjoy it,” I tell her.
“That’s hedonistic logic,” she mutters at me.
“I’m nothing if not a hedonist,” I point out.
“That’s true.”
I kiss her neck and soak up the way she sighs with pleasure. “I want to take you to a bookstore.”
“Isn’t that like a marriage proposal for you?” she says dryly.
I crack a smile. “Close.”
Both our tones were light and tinged with irony, but hers grows serious when she continues on.
“Don’t fuck with my head, Rafe. Last time I could pretend you didn’t know what you were doing, that you didn’t mean to hurt me, but this time… this time you know. If you hurt me again, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice, and I’m going to hold you accountable.”
That’s the only thing that keeps me from giving in to my baser urges, dragging her over to her bed, and fucking her until she can’t take anymore. Not that she would hold me accountable, but that I would.
My silence stretches on for too long. Virginia gives up on me, turns around, and offers me a sad smile. She traces my lips with her index finger and says quietly, “A hedonist always seeks pleasure and avoids pain. Falling for one is just about the dumbest thing a person can do.”