“Rex has a Disney fetish,” I inform Virginia, just to mess with him.
“I do not have a Disney fetish,” he states.
“Loves the princesses,” I continue.
“You’re Rafe fucking Morelli; you have no room to talk,” he informs me,
leaning back and sprawling in his seat.
My wife looks at me and nods. “He’s right, you are Rafe fucking Morelli, and you don’t have room to talk. I actually have to take his side on this one.”
Squeezing her side playfully, I say, “Traitor.”
Nicky’s little squeal steals my attention, alerting me to the arrival of Mateo’s eldest, Bella. While she danced with Nicky she looked happy and sweet, but upon approaching us, she has the vaguely hostile look of a teenager standing in front of a parent who has annoyed her. Which, well, I guess she is.
“Someone needs to hold Nicky,” she announces. “I have to pee.”
“Ordinarily, I would be all over this,” Virginia says, indicating the diamonds dangling from her ears. “But earlier when I held him, he tried to rip my ear off my head.” She glances back at me to tell me I’m up, but Bella’s gaze has already moved on. It skates right past Mateo like he’s not even an option, and without warning, she puts Nicky on Rex’s lap.
“Whoa,” Rex says, awkwardly shooting up and bracing his hands under Nicky’s arms, like he’s a pot of hot soup instead of a small human. “Jesus, give a guy a little warning before you drop a baby on him, would you?”
“You’re fine,” Bella says, rolling her eyes dismissively. “It’s a baby, not a bomb.” Turning back to Mateo, she holds out her hand expectantly. “May I have my phone, please?”
“Adrian grounded you from your phone,” he reminds her.
“I know, but I’m grounded from using it for fun, not when I really need it,” she informs him with casual impatience, in hopes he won’t question her loophole.
Cocking an eyebrow, Mateo asks, “You need your phone to go to the bathroom?”
Nodding earnestly, she tells him, “I could get lost. Kidnapped. Murdered. Imagine all the horrors that might befall me on the way to the restroom. Would you really leave your own daughter defenseless, without a way to call for help?”
I bring a hand to my face, trying to hide my smirk. Mateo regards her dryly, but reaches into his jacket pocket, draws out a cell phone, and hands it to her. “Try to make it back alive.”
“Thanks,” she mutters, before making a beeline through the ballroom.
“Bathroom, my ass,” Rex tells Mateo. “She’s sneaking off to text Tommy.”
“No kidding,” Mateo mutters, shaking his head in mild annoyance and reaching for his own drink.
“Is parenting getting extra fun, cousin?” I inquire, amused as all hell.
“The teenage years are off to a bumpy start,” he informs me.
“She’s only 13, isn’t she? Man, you’re in for a hell of a ride,” I tell him, openly smirking now. Looking up at Virginia, I tell her, “This is why we aren’t having kids. A city full of grown men we can control, but your own kids know you won’t kill ‘em for being pains in your ass, so they’re harder to keep in line.”
Virginia shakes her head at me before leaning in and brushing her lips against mine. “We already have Skylar and Nicky to worry about. You’re fooling yourself if you think you’ll get out of worrying about teenagers someday.”
I shake my head. “I’m not gonna worry about ‘em. Sin can be the strict one; I’ll let Nicky do whatever he wants, then I won’t have any headaches.”
“Oh, boy,” she says. “I’m going to do all the parenting when Nicky visits us, all right? You can just be the fun uncle.”
Smiling up at her, I take her hand and draw it to my lips, giving her a little kiss. “I’m good at fun.”
Smiling fondly, she sinks back against me and caresses my face. “My handsome, hedonist husband.”
Rex rises, walking over and boldly planting my son on Mateo’s lap. Mateo looks down, while Nicky grins up at him, gleefully oblivious that he’s in the lap of one of the worst men my family has to offer.
“Dada dada,” Nicky babbles, tipping back against Mateo’s chest and grabbing for his feet.