“Hookers probably make better money for less work,” I point out. Trying to keep him focused, I point toward the shower. “Get clean. I’m going to try to find the kitchen. Your house is ridiculous, by the way. Unless you have Snow White and the Seven Dwarves living here with you, I don’t know why you need this much space.”
“Need is a strong word,” he murmurs, looking down as he starts to unbutton his dress shirt. “I like my space.”
And that’s my cue to leave. I slip out before he can give me even more to torture myself with. I put his cheesecake in the refrigerator, triple wrap his drug mirror and razor blade in trash bags and take them out to my car (safer to throw it in the Dumpster at my apartment complex than the can at the end of his personal driveway), and grab him a bottle of water.
By the time I get back up to his bedroom, he is emerging from the bathroom with nothing more than a towel around his narrow hips. Fabulous. He’s going to have to take that off to climb into bed, even if he sleeps naked. I’m going to have to use every ounce of self-control I have, because I do not need to know what Rafe’s dick looks like.
His bed is already made perfectly, so I draw back the blanket for him for him to climb in. I hear the towel hit the floor behind me and I tense, trying to keep my eyes averted.
Please don’t look, Virginia. Please don’t look.
Rafe sounds amused. “Are you shy?”
“Shy and wholesome, that’s me. Get on the bed and cover up so I can look at you.”
“I’m not shy,” he informs me. “I don’t care if you look.”
“I care. Cover up.”
He sighs like I’m a pain in the ass, but I hear a rustling of fabric anyway and when I steal a peek, he’s under the blankets. Much better. Some of his toned chest is visible and that’s more than I need to see, so I do my best to concentrate on his face as I take a seat on the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“I’m fine, Virginia,” he assures me.
I indicate the bottle of water I put on his end table. “All right. Well, there’s cheesecake in your refrigerator, water here in case you get thirsty, and your paperwork is in the folder on top of your dresser. I don’t know where your phone is. Do you want me to find it and put it on charge?”
“I threw it in a fountain,” he says casually.
“Oh. Okay. Well, in that case, finding it is a little beyond my abilities. You’re going to have to get a new phone.”
He smirks at me. “I’m aware.”
Glancing down at the bedding rather than his face, I tell him, “I’m sorry Cassandra is an evil swamp monster. I’d offer to seduce her slutty new boyfriend for you, but I don’t have Rafe Morelli charisma. It probably wouldn’t work.”
“Just break out your Christina Aguilera dance moves, you can reel him in.”
I grin up at him. “Yeah, I’m sure that’ll work.”
Rafe isn’t looking at me though. Even though he was joking a moment ago, now he’s lost in thought. “I’ll have more power than he has someday. She’ll wish she had stayed, and it’ll be too late.”
“She’ll wish she had stayed for a million reasons. The measure of power you possess shouldn’t even make the list.”
His lips curve up faintly, but more with cynicism than amusement. “Power matters.”
“You matter more,” I say simply. “If she didn’t think so, then she doesn’t deserve you.”
He reaches his hand out, caressing the side of my face. “You’re sweet.”
He may be the one on drugs tonight, but I’m the one who breathes in his tantalizing scent like an addict. I’m so tempted to turn my face and kiss his hand. I need to get the hell out of here. Before I go, I can’t resist taking just a little memory for myself. Chances are, he won’t remember any of this come tomorrow anyway. With that thought in mind, I reach out and run my fingers through his hair while I hold his gaze. I’ve always wanted to do this. Never thought I’d get the chance.
I can already feel what a bad idea it is. Tomorrow when nothing comes of this, I will be left with meaningless memories—but they’ll mean too much to me. Last time it wasn’t damaging. Last time it didn’t matter. If anything, my admiration for Rafe makes it easier to go to work every day. Most people have to drag themselves to work, but I’m happy to be there. I’m happy to be doing something that, at least to me, feels in service to Rafe. I maintain my harmony by not being too greedy, though.
Right now Rafe’s heart is broken. He’s not ready to fall in love again. Even if it could ever be me, it can’t be right now. He isn’t in the right place. His heart needs time to heal, and he needs to get to a place where he’d rather have me and my cheesecake than all the Jessica Rabbits in the world.
That’s never going to happen, Virginia.
No, probably not.