More gratitude wells up, because while he scared me for a few minutes, he’s the one who’s going to have to watch his back. If Rafe finds out about this, he’ll do more than inflict an uncomfortable breakfast on us—he’ll kill him. He’ll be right to. Sin is supposed to be loyal to Rafe, and maybe I am too, but I have an excuse. Sin gave me one, at the expense of hi
mself. This man is willing to risk his life just to have me one more time.
I love you.
Tears spring to my eyes. I try to ignore them, but they well up and spill down my cheeks. I don’t expect Sin to even notice, but the rough pad of his thumb catches the very first tear in its track.
“Stop,” he says suddenly, pulling my hair to tug me off his dick.
“No,” I say, looking up at him quickly and shaking my head.
His brow furrows as he searches my face, trying to decipher what’s wrong with me. Am I crying because of what he’s “making” me do, or is this something else?
This is definitely something else. I stroke his cock with my hand and lean my face against his toned stomach, kissing every inch I can get my lips on. My face still feels a little wet and cold from the tears, but it doesn’t matter. This is very likely the only chance I’m ever going to get to do this. It can’t be a regular thing, or I won’t have even the flimsy excuse of being afraid if I told him no. Plus, the more this happens, the greater the chances of Rafe finding out. I was already worried Rafe had something horrible planned for Sin; we can’t afford to give him more incentive.
Sin’s hand moves to the back of my head and he holds my head against him tenderly.
I stay like that for a moment, just enjoying this half-assed embrace, then I pull back and get back to adoring his cock. I slide my lips over him, then ease him bit by bit until my lips reach his base and I have his whole cock in my throat. Then I look up at him.
“Fuck,” he says, meeting my gaze.
I moan around his cock and pleasure fills me as he throws his head back and growls.
Make me yours.
He does. He grabs my hair on both sides of my head and holds on like handles while he fucks my mouth. His thrusts are brutal and they make me ache with arousal. I lick up every salty drop of him like it’s the sweetest thing I’ll ever taste. It is; Sin’s pleasure is without question the sweetest thing I’ll ever taste.
I wish it could last forever, but it can’t. I’m too enthusiastic and it’s been too long.
At least, I hope it’s been too long. The thought of another woman on her knees for Sin makes me want to die. When he comes down my throat and groans with pleasure, holding my face in place and making sure I get every last drop, it feels like reassurance. Who else could do this for him? Any mouth could take his cum, but no one else would be this grateful for it.
He pulls out of my mouth and I sit back on my heels.
“Fuck,” Sin murmurs, pulling his pants back up and zipping them.
I swallow and look up at him, licking my lips.
“Fuck,” he mutters again, dropping my gaze.
I wait for him to get himself together, but as soon as he retrieves his gun, my mind snaps back. Gazing up at him from my spot on the floor, I ask, “Was this real?”
His tone is detached, like this moment is already a memory for him. “Did it feel real?”
My tone is quiet and I look down as I admit, “Everything with you feels real.”
Even if he’s the biggest lie I’ve ever known, that’s the truth. Sin feels like the only real thing in a world full of make believe. He did before and he does now, and if at any point in between I’ve imagined otherwise, I was only fooling myself.
“No one gets hurt as long as you don’t say anything,” he reminds me. Glancing back down at me, he says, “I didn’t give you a choice in the matter. You have nothing to feel guilty for.”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I mull it over for a moment before asking, “What if I had said my safe word?”
“We don’t have a safe word,” he says, simply.
That’s bullshit. He knows my safe word. He doesn’t want to admit I had an out though, and that answers my question. This wasn’t real. He wanted a blow job, he wanted one from me, and he knew a way to get one.
I should leave it at that. I can only pretend to be blameless if I leave it at that, but I can’t. I’d rather be the guiltiest whore in all the world than let him walk out of here and stick his dick in someone else.
“Sin.”