I think she’s being naïve, but it’ll only piss her off to tell her that. She doesn’t know Rafe the way I do, hasn’t known him as long as I have. In her mind, it’s as simple as breaking it off and walking away, but it won’t be. It can’t be. Not with who he is. Not with the family he hails from. Laurel might object to being referred to as Rafe’s property, but she is. Right now I am begging for a bullet to the back of the skull, just being here with her like this.
Laurel continues trying to convince me. “This isn’t wrong, you and me. It’s right.”
As if the motherfucker has some secret sense and he knows he needs to make his presence known right now, her phone vibrates between us. I know it’s Rafe. It fucking has to be.
“Guess who,” I murmur.
Laurel frowns, fishing around for the phone but apparently not finding it. It vibrated against my hip and I’m flush against her, so it’s gotta be in her pocket.
“I can’t find it,” she mutters, then it vibrates a second time and her hand stops moving. Suddenly it moves again, too quickly for me to realize she pulled the phone out of my pocket. Flashing me a mischievous smile as she takes a peek, she says, “Ha, my turn.”
“Give me that,” I say, grabbing the damn thing away from her, but I’m confused by the couple shades of color her face loses. Fuck, she shouldn’t be reading my work messages. I turn the phone around to see what the hell she just read—not that anyone should be explicit enough in a text message that she would know what they were saying anyway—but then I see something far fucking worse.
Two messages in a row from Marlena.
Coming back soon?
I thought you said this was gonna be quick ;)
Laurel has the same look she had when she saw us out together, like I just took a sledgehammer to her rib cage. Like her heart can’t beat right and her lungs can’t draw in air.
“You were with her,” she says, softly. I wait for the feeling of being socked in the gut when I see betrayal in her blue eyes, but it doesn’t happen because she can’t even fucking look at me.
I wanna explain, but I can’t. More than that, I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to go the route of making her despise me to get her over me, but it’s clear as day we can’t be friends. Not now, at least. Maybe someday down the road, once she’s settled, but right now it’s too hard.
“Get off me,” she says, shoving at my chest, moving her legs to dislodge me.
For all that she couldn’t get me close enough a minute ago, now I’m clearly not moving fast enough, so she keeps shoving me. Once I climb off her, she springs up off the couch and turns around, glaring down at me.
“You have some fucking nerve, you know that? Accusing me of cheating when you left your fucking date to come rescue me. Tell your little girlfriend about that, why don’t you?”
I debate saying something to make it worse, but I can’t. I hate hurting her. I feel guilty for every second she struggles to breathe and I know it’s because of me. As much as I miss her, I wish she’d never met me. Her life would be better for it.
When I look back up at her again, tears are shining in her big blue eyes. Pools of hurt, and I’m the one responsible.
Fuck me.
Before I can make things worse, I reach forward and grab my shirt off the floor, dragging it over my head and standing.
“I’m sorry,” I say, simply.
“Just go,” she says, turning away and walking over to check on Skylar.
I want to tell her I won’t come around again so she knows to stop waiting on me, but it feels too much like she’ll take it as a punishment. Selfishly, I want to tell her I wasn’t faking any of it, and yeah, I’m a bastard, but maybe not as big a bastard as she thinks I am. That’s the last thing I can say to her, so I keep my mouth shut, keep my head down, and with one last glimpse of her reaching into the baby’s bassinet, I’m gone.
24
Laurel
I am snuggled up in bed when Rafe gets home.
Actually, I went to bed as soon as Gio and Lydia packed up all of Skylar’s belongings and left. Probably before they even made it out of Rafe’s long-ass driveway, I was upstairs peeling off my bra, slipping on pajamas, and climbing into bed alone.
Las Vegas is a lonely town. Who would have ever thought?
After Sin left, I felt lonelier than ever. I curled up in bed and looked at my phone, but there was no one to call. I couldn’t call Carly and tell her what has me upset, because she doesn’t even know about Sin. Even though I want to rip his dick off right now, I’m still protective enough of him that I don’t want this to be the first she hears of him, either.
That just pisses me off more.