It’s still dark when my eyes open. I’m somewhat relieved, since I don’t feel up to dealing with work just yet. While I’m up, I figure I should go pee and make sure Derek locked my door on his way out. I doubt tonight is the night the burglars would decide to come ransack my house, but one never knows.
The living room is dark, but before I make it to the door, I’m aware of a foreign presence in my sanctuary. Surely enough, draped uncomfortably across my couch, his leg hanging off, is Derek. He didn’t leave. He is sleeping on my couch, and he is much too tall for my tiny couch. He’s positioned right beneath the window, so the moonlight spills over his face. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. It’s been a long, long time since I saw his face basked in moonlight.
My gaze drifts to something else that shouldn’t be there. The pages of my Dreamcatcher manuscript are stacked neatly on the floor beside the couch. Since it’s just printed paper, he shouldn’t have even known what it was, but I pick up the top page, the title page, and I realize Derek knows my pen name. He’s the only person in the world who knows I’m Nikki Reid.
Sighing, I hold up the paper, my accusation at the ready, and shake his shoulder until he wakes up. His blue eyes open and crinkle with warmth when they hit my face. He glances up at the window, seeing it’s still night time.
“Uh oh, what did I do now?” he asks, looking back at my face.
I raise my eyebrows and show him the title page. “Did you read this?”
“I did.”
“All of it?”
He nods his head. “It’s great. I found some typos, but I was too tired to mark them.”
Rolling my eyes, I tell him, “Of course there are typos. It’s only a rough draft. Why did you do that? I didn’t say you could read this one.”
“You know I don’t ask permission,” he informs me. I’m just about to lay into him some more, but then he adds, “I had to read it.”
“Why?”
“Because I want all your words.”
That simple sentence steals my words. My frozen heart feels funny, but I can’t think about that right now. I don’t want to think about anything.
Reaching forward, I run my fingers through his hair and watch surprise transform his features. “This couch is too small for you to sleep on,” I tell him.
He’s smart enough not to use any words to respond to that. As I rise, he sits up, his eyes trained on my face. He watches cautiously, like he’s ready for me to turn on him in a second, but he still gets up. I hold out my hand, and he takes it. I know it’s likely a mistake to invite the destroyer into my bedroom, but it doesn’t matter. Some women have their good choices and happily ever afters, I have my scraps. I might as well use him while he’s here.
I back myself up against my bedroom door and wait to see what he’ll do. Like there’s a magnet inside me pulling his body toward mine, he presses me harder against the door, one hand cradling my face, the other skimming my side. Since I thought my house was empty and no one would see me, I’m only wearing a bra and panties. He leans back just long enough for his blue eyes to rake over my body in the darkness, then he moves back in and his lips brush mine.
Planting one hand against his chest, I pull back and remind him, “This doesn’t mean anything.”
His lips curve up faintly. “Yeah, Nikki, I know the drill.”
“I mean it,” I tell him. Letting my hand drift lower, I grab his cock. “I want this…” Then I release it and bring my hand up, placing my palm against his heart. “Not this.”
His big hands come up to cover mine as it rests over his heart. “This already belongs to you. You don’t have to take it, though.” Then he grabs my wrist and pushes it back to the hardness between his legs. “I will definitely give you this.”
Smiling faintly, I tease, “What, that doesn’t belong to me, too?”
Cocking an eyebrow, he smirks at me. “You want it to?”
“No,” I say, my smile melting as panic tries to set in. Nope, nope, nope.
“I was just kidding,” he murmurs, bringing his hand up to fist it in my hair. He tugs sharply, and I close my eyes, sighing with pleasure at the feel of his roughness. “Now get on your knees and let me remind you where you belong.”
I narrow my eyes at him, but my stomach pitches with excitement as he tugs on my hair again and I drop to my knees. That I’ve missed him is a given, but I’ve missed this, too. I’ve missed how well he knows me, how well he intuits what I need, what I want. No one else has ever even tried, but when it comes to what I like in the bedroom, Derek has that arena mastered.
Fire curls through my belly as I reach for the zipper on his jeans, tugging it down and slipping the button through the hole. He reaches down, tenderly gathering my hair in
his hands, then guides my face toward his cock, like I need the direction.
I open my mouth, pleasure swirling through me as he pushes the head into my mouth. My lips close around it greedily, like he’s a delicacy I’m rarely lucky enough to taste. My heart aches for some reason as memories of the old days seep in, reminding me of the early days of our relationship. The first time I had my mouth around him, his hands in my hair. It makes me hungrier for him, more desperate to suck the pleasure out of him. My mind knows this doesn’t mean anything, but my mouth seems determined to convince him this warm, wet haven is where he should stay forever.
I would be alarmed at my body overtaking and shutting down my brain’s functions, but this is exactly what I wanted. As he pushes himself deeper into my mouth, as I wrap my tongue around him and tease him, as the guttural sounds of Derek groaning in pleasure fill my hallway, I have everything I want in this moment. You can’t be empty when you possess everything you want.