"No. That was a mistake. I don't even know what I was thinking, I wasn’t thinking, I just... I mean, I found out I'm going to be a father. I haven’t even graduated high school yet. Just accepting that this is actually going to happen hasn't been fun. There was lots of pot involved to calm me down, but there isn't enough pot in the world to make me okay with playing house with Kayla."
I scoffed at the idea. "No, I don't think there's even enough morphine in the world for that."
He half smiled, reaching over to lightly take my hand. "I'm sorry I've put you through all this, Nikki. I never wanted to prove you right about this."
I nodded. "I'm sorry I lied to you about the whole Andy thing. Maybe if I wouldn't have lost my mind and been so childish, this whole thing never would’ve happened."
He shrugged. "We can't undo any of it, so we may as well just make the best of it." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "Oh, and will you please take your car? It's hogging up my spot in the garage."
I smiled. "I miss my car."
"It misses you, too. Take it?"
"I don't know," I said reluctantly. "I think we should take it slow this time."
"Slow?"
"Yeah. I don't think we should go jumping into anything again."
"Well... okay, but we are back together, aren't we?"
"Yeah, I think so. I guess I am allowed to take the car if we're back together," I reasoned.
"Yes, you are," he said, standing up and holding his hand out to take mine.
I put my hand in his and also stood.
"Want to sit with me at lunch?" he asked.
"That will make Kayla really mad," I warned him.
"What's she gonna do, break up with me?"
Thinking about it, I realized the whole situation was going to make Kayla mad, because she thought she won.
Oddly, I didn't feel too bad about bursting her bubble.
The transition phase was a little more awkward than either of us hoped it would be. As much as I wanted to just hold onto Derek and not let anyone take him from me again, my sense of self-preservation implored me to be cautious, take it slow—just in case.
As much as I liked Derek –and honestly, probably still loved him—I saw no reason to advertise it. As far as I was concerned, my feelings for Derek were a shameful weakness that I didn't want people to know about, least of all Derek himself. I was having a hard enough time admitting it to myself, so why bring anyone else into it?
I did sit with him at lunch that day, and for all that it embarrassed me that I took him back so easily, it was almost worth it when I saw the frozen look of shock on Kayla's face as Derek put a hand on the small of my back and leaned in to whisper in my ear before we sat down. At first she just stared, unable to blink or lift her jaw up off the table, but when she realized something was happening that wasn't in her plan, her eyes flared and she nearly knocked someone's tray in their lap in her haste to get over to us.
“Prepare for drama," I muttered to Derek.
"What?" he asked, since he hadn’t been paying attention to Kayla.
I didn't have to answer him, as Kayla stormed up to the table at exactly that moment.
"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded. "What is that whore doing sitting next to you?"
"Wow, I'm experiencing a sense of déjà vu," I murmured to Derek.
"Don't whisper to him!" Kayla shrieked.
I grimaced, covering my ear. "Okay, seriously, you need to lower your volume."
"Derek, I am your girlfriend," she stated.