I flipped to the end, to the very last entry in her journal. She was just talking about Wuthering Heights. She was writing how she had lost both copies of the book. She said that the other day she had been looking for her second copy, but she couldn't find it. She said she knew she had it a couple months before, because she had been reading it. Apparently she had told someone about it, and although she normally didn't loan out her books, since she had two copies, she let him take a copy, telling him he should give it a try. "You might relate," I told him, were her exact words.
And that was it. The anticlimactic last line of her journal was about loaning someone a book.
I was sure she had never gotten the book back since she died the next day, but my grandmother had boxed up all her books, and since I knew I had Wuthering Heights, I knew Grandma must have found the second copy.
My wild goose chase was finally over, and of course I had found nothing very exciting, which was pretty disappointing. It would have been much more interesting if I would have somehow discovered a passage that I had missed before, and solved the mystery.
But maybe there was no mystery.
Maybe Mike was just a typical, disappointing guy, and my poor mother had been disillusioned. Perhaps he had never really even wanted to be with her. Maybe he had been playing her all along.
It seemed I would never know.
I was caught by complete surprise when Stephanie told me that Kayla suggested we all hang out sometime. I thought that was pretty weird since Kayla absolutely hated me and had even gone so far as to vandalize my car.
When I mentioned this, Steph said that Kayla wanted to extend her apologies for acting like such a bitch, and she wanted us to hang out with her and Greg, this new guy she was seeing.
I hated the idea, but Steph looked so hopeful that I somehow found myself agreeing.
Talking Derek into it was the hard part. It wasn't so much a matter of talking him into it, but waiting until we were in bed and he was almost satisfied, then adding, "Oh, and we are hanging out with Steph and her friends tomorrow night, right?" when he wouldn't have been able to refuse me if I asked him to buy me a car.
I was completely prepared for awkwardness, especially when Kayla decided she was driving, Greg would sit shotgun, and Derek, Stephanie and I could sit in the back.
I ended up stuck in the middle, jammed between Stephanie and Derek, while Kayla and her incredibly loud and obnoxious new boy toy blasted music and decided to sing along. Out of all the songs they played on the longest ride ever, I liked two of them.
We ended up at the mall, where Kayla –who was definitely a size two, if not smaller—tried on a pair of jeans, modeled them, then proceeded to ask Derek if the jeans had made her butt look big.
I felt a small surge of satisfaction when Derek replied, "I have no idea, I didn't look at it. Ask your boyfriend."
I didn't have much money, so I didn't want to waste my time looking at anything. I did end up buying a pair of earrings that were on sale 2 for $8. Steph and I both found one pair that we liked, so we put our money together and bought them. Then Kayla hauled us into another store, and I saw this really pretty autumn-orange sweater that would go perfectly with the earrings I bought. I really wanted to try it on, but it was $25, and I only had $12 left, so I didn't feel the need to tease myself.
Steph noticed that I kept gravitating back to the sweater, so when she found a shirt to try on she insisted that I go try on my sweater.
It was just as pretty on as I expected it to be, and I wished I had more money so I could buy it, but I didn't. I really hated not having any money.
Derek saw me admiring it, but I merely offered him a smile in the mirror and said, "It's pretty, isn't it?"
He nodded with a slight smile, his eyes twinkling. "Very pretty."
I nodded, then went to change back out of it and into my boring T-shirt. When I came out, Steph told me I should buy it, because it was really pretty on me. I shook my head and put the sweater back on the table. "Maybe another time," I said.
"Why?" Derek asked, glancing at the sweater.
"I don't..." I thought about just saying I didn't like it that much, but I decided just to tell him the truth. "I don't have enough money to buy it," I said with a tiny smile. "No big deal."
"How much do you have?" he asked, looking at the price tag on the sweater.
"Twelve bucks," I responded.
He nodded and continued to tag along as Kayla held up various items of clothing, then decided to buy them, reminding me with every item of the money she had cost me by vandalizing my car. If not for her being such a petty bitch, maybe I could afford my sweater.
I was a little thrown when it felt like Derek was trying to hold my hand, but despite my bewilderment, I let him. Then I felt him slip me something and I looked down to see a $20 bill.
I shook my head. "No. Thank you, but no," I said, passing it back.
"Go get the damn sweater," he said, shoving the money back into my hand.
"I am not taking your money," I said stubbornly.