I reached the doors at the front of the school before I realized I was still in my cap and gown, that I had been going to change when I ran into Derek.
I didn't turn around. I couldn't see him again. The ending had been good enough for me—better than I had intended—and I didn't want any other memory as my last memory of him.
So I ran out to Alex's car in my cap and gown, ignoring the funny look he gave me and climbing in the car.
"Hey, I thought you were changing," Alex said, eyeing up my robe.
Shaking my head, I put the camera in my lap and hoped he didn't notice I had been c
rying.
Shrugging, he said, "All right." He put the car in gear, glancing up at me.
I looked at the school building, taking in one last look at everything, briefly thinking of the memories that had taken place there.
"Are you ready, kiddo?" Alex asked me.
Slowly, I nodded, forcing the lump in my throat to go back down.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
He nodded and started to pull away, but then he hit the brakes, looking over at me. "Are you okay?"
"I will be," I told him with a shaky nod.
"For what it's worth," he said, moving his hand on top of mine and looking at me, our green eyes meeting, "Jamie would have been so proud of you."
Cursing the tears that threatened to fall yet again, I refused to let them, nodding instead. "I know she would have. She would be proud of you, too, you know."
He offered a sad little smile and released my hand, resting it back on the wheel as he looked away from me, letting off the brake and easing forward to the edge of the parking lot.
As he looked both ways to make sure no cars were coming, I stole one last glance in the rearview mirror.
In that fleeting moment, I wished that it could be the last time I ever looked back.
I knew it wouldn't be.