"Is someone going to?" he asked, flopping down next to me. "Do you need an alibi? Should I get a lawyer now? I'm sure if you give me enough notice Johnnie Cochran could get you out of it. Make sure you wear gloves though. And…it would help if you could establish some kind of fame first, pro football player, rapper, freakish plastic surgery project—some sort of deal like that."
"I'll get right on that," I stated dryly.
He sighed. "Okay, I'll be serious. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Liar. What's wrong?" he asked again.
I sighed. "When I say nothing, it means I don't want to talk about it. Don't you know anything about women?"
"I know a lot about women, and I know that when you ask a woman what's wrong and she says nothing, you better keep asking, or she's going to be pissed."
I cracked a tiny smile. "I'm not dating you and it's not your fault, so that's really not the situation at this point in time."
"Thank God, we are above incest. But I still want to know what's wrong."
"Nothing," I said slowly.
"The demon spawn?" he guessed. "What did the dumbass do now?"
"Nothing," I said again, although even to me it sounded like more of a growl.
He sat there patiently, not asking again, not breaking the eye contact he was making with my ear.
A minute passed before I finally said, "Don't you have to go out?"
"Actually, I'm staying in tonight. I think my body needs to detox or something. I've decided not to drink at all this weekend."
"I'm so proud," I said dryly.
"So, what did he do? Tell me, maybe I can help. I am, after all, a man."
"Yes, I know exactly what you are," I said a bit derisively, slanting him a sideways look.
"I think that was an insult, but I'll overlook it. Want me to beat him up for you?" he offered.
"I don't want to talk about it," I whined, feeling a bit like a four-year-old as I scowled and squeezed the pillow closer, slinking down into the couch cushion.
"Baby," he stated, but didn't persist. Instead, he grabbed the remote and changed the channel.
"I was watching that," I stated.
"Before I came in, yeah, but I am older and I overrule you."
Rolling my eyes, I complained, "That isn't fair, you'll always be older than me."
"Sucks to be you," he said, smirking.
Reluctantly smiling, I shook my head. "You are such a child."
"Says the girl clutching her pillow like a teddy bear and pouting in the corner," he retorted.
Ceding his point, I let up a little on the pillow and sighed, glancing over at him cautiously. "I don't like Derek very much today," I finally admitted.
Instead of gloating, he merely nodded, which must have been the right response. "What did he do?" he asked evenly.
I hesitated, thinking I probably shouldn't tell him because I would probably regret it later. "I don't know, probably nothing."