Whip closed his eyes and waited until the pain radiating from his heart and spiraling through his chest passed. “Don’t take it personal. Wasn’t you, Shay.”
“No, it was you.”
He opened his eyes. He should walk away right now. Avoid this conversation completely. But he didn’t because he wanted to punish himself.
He deserved it.
He should go back to The Barn, grab The Punisher and get Judge to use it on him.
Get the enforcer to break him completely.
Then once he healed, maybe he could move on. Or at least go back to the way things were before he came across a disabled sled with a stranded rider on Copperhead Road.
“Women just don’t up and leave like that without a word unless there’s a reason, Whip. So, what did you do?” The tone of her question wasn’t sharp, but deceivingly soft, which made dealing with her accusation even harder.
“Fucked up.”
“That’s a given. On purpose or by accident?”
Shay was ten years older and much wiser than him. She was strong without being loud. She was observant without being directly in someone’s face. So damn opposite of Ozzy.
Just like Fallon and Whip were complete opposites, too.
Shay and Ozzy were two halves that shouldn’t fit together at all, but managed to fit perfectly. Their personalities complemented each other.
He couldn’t imagine they’d ever have a disagreement in public like Jet and Rook did earlier. Those two were more like two matchsticks being struck together and igniting.
Jet and Rook were thunder and lightning, while Shay and Ozzy had the push and pull of a tide. “On purpose.”
“To chase her away.” Shay didn’t make that a question because she was smart enough to know that was the answer.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
She was still going to make him explain it. “For the reason we’re all gatherin’ at Pete’s tonight,” he answered truthfully.
“For your birthday? Because you think you’re too young for her?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Not that.”
“Because you don’t want her to know the truth about the Fury,” she concluded.
“That…”
“And?” she prodded.
“Wanted to keep her clear of this mess. Wanted to protect her. Didn’t want any of this shit splashin’ back on her. You all chose this life, bein’ an ol’ lady and bein’ a part of the sisterhood, and what goes along with it. She didn’t.”
Nodding, Shay tucked a long strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear. “That’s understandable. However, she’s mature and self-aware enough to make her own decisions about it.”
“If I’d been truthful, the outcome woulda been the same.”
“Even if it was, you should’ve let her decide that.”
You should’ve let her decide that.
Since they were lobbing truth bombs… “Oz don’t deserve you, Shay.”
“You know, he tells me that every morning and every morning I tell him he’s wrong.” Shay smiled up at him. “We don’t choose our soulmates, Whip, they’re chosen for us. Usually for a reason. The second we meet them we just know in here.” She pressed her hand against his chest over his heart. “We recognize who they are but we need to open our eyes to see it. To see them faults and all. That doesn’t mean it’ll come easy. But, if you let it, it’ll come.”
Whip growled at that memory from Saturday night and punched the pillow one more time before giving up. He flipped over, sat up, leaned back against the wall and reached for his tin on the folding table next to his bed. Grabbing his cell phone, he used it as a flashlight to dig out a joint and locate his Bic.
Once lit, he took two long drags, hoping the Kush would clear his brain and help him fall asleep.
Or at least take the edge off.
Tonight after the run, everyone had gathered in The Barn, but it wasn’t rowdy, or even fun, like normal. It had been subdued since nobody had been in the partying mood and everyone had been uneasy. But hanging together was a way for the brotherhood to stay connected as they waited.
Unfortunately, what they waited for was the feds and law enforcement to bust down the doors and drag them out in handcuffs.
It didn’t happen yet, but that didn’t mean it still couldn’t.
An extensive investigation would begin—if it hadn’t already—once the hot spots from the fire were dealt with and the ATF went over the clan’s compound with a fine-tooth comb, gathering evidence.
Once they took statements and did interviews.
Once Manning Grove PD and the state police’s fire marshal put out feelers, poked and sniffed around.
Until they found enough answers to satisfy them.
So really, it wasn’t over.
It wouldn’t be over until the investigation was closed. Or it went cold.
None of them were truly safe until then.
Including Fallon.
Being involved with him could take her down with the rest of them.
But maybe once that last I was dotted and the last T was crossed in the investigation…
Maybe…
Just maybe…
Or maybe by then it would be too late and their chance to be together had passed.