I was so focused on Ethan saving me, protecting me, that I left myself vulnerable.
That vulnerability will land me in jail, and even if I’m not formally charged, this could still have a detrimental effect on my future.
Ethan stands to the side, his face red with anger, his fingers working over his phone while the police continue to search my car. I should feel relieved that once they’re done, they pull nothing else out, but that one baggie of cocaine is enough to ruin me.
Tears flow in a constant river down my cheeks, and with my hands cuffed behind my back, the metal biting and harsh, I can’t swipe them away. If my life weren’t flashing before my eyes, I’d be concerned about the snot forming on my face as well.
Is this what rock bottom looks like?
I shake my head, knowing this is just the beginning of worse things to come. I’ll be escorted into the jail, fingerprinted, and will have a mug shot taken. When the department updates their jail list, my face will be out there, my arrest public knowledge. People will screen shot it. Whomever made the post on the Farmington Whistleblower website will be vindicated. The naysayers—those that would’ve defended me earlier in the week—will be shut down and proven wrong.
An unmarked police car pulls up behind Ethan, and I don’t know whether to feel relieved or ashamed when Detective Colton Matthews walks up to the group. I can’t hear what’s being said, but it’s clear where he stands on the situation when he stops beside Ethan, facing the other two police officers.
One cop holds up the baggie found in my car while the other points and explains what the situation is.
Detective Matthews shakes his head, speaking to them, his demeanor calm but authoritative. I appreciate any help I can get, but there’s no way out of this other than through the court system. It’s my car, and the drugs were found in it. It’s pretty cut and dried as far as probable cause for an arrest. Arguments aren’t won with police. Those battles are fought in a courtroom or prior to a trial with the district attorney’s office.
I watch, my breathing refusing to slow, keeping my heart pounding in my ears as the cop holding the bag of drugs shakes his head.
Detective Matthews crosses his arms over his chest and gives a slight nod of his head, indicating that the police officer should do something, and he’s not moving until he does. The angry cop storms toward the car, and I’m hopeful he’s going to let me out, but he strides past where I am before going back to get something from the trunk.
The others meet him in the front as he positions himself at the hood of the car. A small packet about the shape and size of a fast-food ketchup is pulled from the officer’s kit, and he uses a stick of some kind to tip into the bag found in my car before dipping that into the packet he pulled from the kit.
He’s testing the drugs, but he grows angry at the results before pulling another packet out and testing it again. He does this several more times, each result making him madder and madder. If the cop that was so quick to not listen to me is getting mad, this is good news for me.
His partner places a hand on his shoulder, speaking to him. I wish I could read lips right now.
The cop stands taller, leaving the discarded tests on the hood of the cop car, and he sweeps his hand to the side when Detective Matthews tells him something.
The detective shakes his head before tilting it in the direction of the backseat. The angry cop looks defeated when he turns around and walks toward the door.
Tears still stain my face when he tugs the door open. I don’t immediately climb out. I wait for his instructions. I’m in no position to presume anything right now.
“You’re free to go,” he says, the words spit through clenched teeth as he reaches down to help me out of the vehicle. To his credit, he isn’t rough or abrasive as I stand.
I meet Ethan’s eyes as the cuffs are pulled from my wrists. I only thought I was upset. I’m overcome with emotions, my body threatening to lose the ability to stand. Before I can blink, he’s there, wrapping his arms around me and once again keeping me from falling.
“Dramatic much?” the cop asks as he backs away.
“I believe you’ve done enough for the day, Officer Kinley,” Detective Matthews says as he approaches, and he stands near us until the two police officers get back in their car and drive away. “Do you think this is the work of whoever is harassing you?”
“There’s no doubt,” Ethan says, answering for me.