“Get your shit together,” I curse internally. “Stop acting like an idiot.”
That’s something I’ve been telling myself a lot the last three months. But instead of pulling my head out of my ass and taking care of myself and my business, I just keep digging a deeper hole. I just can’t seem to get over Dani, and every time I think of her I get furious all over again.
Well, I guess she isn’t mine now. I made sure of that. And unfortunately, that fact just pisses me off even more. I spend all my time so angry I forget to eat and sleeping is impossible. I swear I can still smell Dani on my sheets despite the fact that they’ve been laundered dozens of times. I’ve picked up my phone to call her, and even driven by her apartment in a few instances just to pull a t-turn and leave, angry with myself for being such a fool.
What’s worse, is I’m letting it affect me at work. Snapping at my staff. Leaving patients waiting far beyond their appointment times. If I don’t figure out how to pull my head out of my ass soon my staff is going to walk out, and my patients are going to stop coming back, and I’m going to lose my practice.
My office door opens without a knock and I open my mouth, ready to berate whoever it is, but instead my daughter Chrissy strides in, nonchalant, and plops down in the chair across from the desk. She crosses her legs and looks completely bored, the way teens do sometimes. But then she shoots me a look that makes me think that there’s something roiling beneath that calm exterior.
“Okay, Dad. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’ve been a complete shit for months now. You know I hang out with your PA Ashley sometimes and she says you’ve been in the shitter for ages. It’s clear something’s up.”
I choose to ignore my daughter’s rude language.
“It’s nothing,” I grunt.
Chrissy sits up straight and narrows her eyes at me. I swear she could make a hardened criminal spill all their secrets with that glare of hers.
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing, Dad. I’ve never seen you like this before. Not even when Mom cheated on you and served you with divorce papers, and that was pretty freaking bad. I mean, the gardener? Please, it was almost out of some stupid soap opera. But I’ve never seen you allow anything to negatively impact your practice, so something is seriously wrong and it’s time for you to spill.”
With my elbows on my desk, I bury my face in my hands and groan. This is not how I wanted Chrissy to find out about Dani and me. Not that there is a Dani and me anymore. But my daughter’s right: I need to get my anger out once and for all, and then maybe I can get back to living my life without the crappy attitude. It’s time to quit acting like a spoiled teenager who didn’t get his way and own up to my shit. Even more I need be honest with my daughter. After all, she’s only woman in my life who’s never hurt me.
Lifting my head, I can feel tears fighting to break free and I blink fast, trying to will them away. Is this really happening? Fuck, I never cry and when I meet Chrissy’s eyes, I can tell she’s just as startled. I need to tell her the truth.
“I’m in love with Dani.”
Chrissy looks confused.
“Who?”
“Dani. You know Dani Hartford, your best friend.”
Chrissy is still confused.
“Really?”
“Yes. We’ve been dating for a while.” I pause, clearing my throat. “I mean, we were dating.”
“When did this happen?”
I rub the back of my neck.
“Remember the night you stood her up for your girls’ night sleepover? It was months ago.”
Chrissy nods slowly.
“Yeah, I remember. I had a date with Mack and completely forgot that I was supposed to hang with Dani.”
My head drops.
“Well, our relationship started that night. We didn’t plan it, but she came over, and things just happened. But after that, we were practically inseparable.”
Chrissy is utterly flummoxed.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice something,” she says in a slow tone. “So you guys have been secretly sneaking around my back for months now?”
I chuckle morosely.
“Well, honey. It’s not like you’re home very often, and when you were at home, I’d just go visit Dani at her apartment.”
Chrissy cocks her head to one side, looking at me with surprise.
“Really?”
I nod.
“Yeah,” I say in a miserable tone. “But it’s over now. Things ended pretty badly, and there’s nothing between us. It’s over. We’re over.”
Chrissy looks thoughtful, rubbing at her chin.
“Let me guess. Something happened between you two about three months ago?”
I raise my brow.
“How’d you know?”
My daughter laughs.
“Because that’s when your bad mood started. Seriously Dad, I’ve seen you upset before, but you’re usually over things that upset you relatively quickly. You don’t usually let things drag you down like this.”