I must have been quiet for too long because Christopher tried to pull away from me. Instead of releasing him, I pulled him closer. Not surprisingly, he began to fight me, but I knew it was because he was embarrassed.
“Let go!” Christopher snapped impatiently.
I put my hand at the back of his neck and began rubbing my thumb back and forth over his soft skin. “Stop,” I commanded as he continued to fight me. “Christopher, just stop,” I repeated softly.
He did, but his entire body was wound up tight.
Ready to take advantage of any opportunity to escape.
I closed my eyes and pressed our foreheads together like they’d been before things had fallen apart. “Christopher, will you…” I began, but then a mass of nerves unfurled in my stomach. What if I lost him before I’d really had him?
To my surprise, Christopher was no longer trying to pull away. I pulled in a deep breath in an effort to get control of myself. I opened my eyes and pulled back enough to find Christopher watching me. He looked like he was trying to decide between staying or running.
“Christopher, will you let me be this first for you?”
I saw in his eyes the exact moment when he realized what I was asking. They went wide for a moment, then relaxed. His entire body softened in my hold until no part of him was resisting me. I slipped my free arm around his waist, pulling him in close so that our chests were nearly touching. I should have been relieved he was wearing a T-shirt and sweats and that I was fully dressed, but the lack of skin on skin irritated me. If this was the only chance I got to taste him, touch him, I didn’t want to squander it.
But I needed to make this about Christopher. About what he needed, deserved.
Instead of covering Christopher’s mouth again with mine, I leaned in and let my nose brush against his as I took in his scent.
“Oranges,” I murmured as I lowered my mouth enough to kiss the left side of his mouth. “My favorite,” I added as I trailed my mouth down Christopher’s chin, then his throat.
Christopher tipped his head back to accommodate me. “I, um, usually get the—”
His words were replaced with a gasp as I closed my lips over his pulse point and sucked gently. It wasn’t until I began retracing my path back to his mouth that I reminded him of what he’d been about to say. “You usually get the…?”
Both of Christopher’s arms were now around my neck, and he was nearly straddling one of my thighs, so I could feel the little tremors that were snaking throughout his body.
“Huh?”
I let the arm I’d had around his waist drop enough so I could support his thigh. But it wasn’t until I stopped kissing him that Christopher opened his eyes, which were mixed with disappointment and confusion.
“You usually get the…?” I prodded. His responses so far had proven what a passionate lover he’d be. To be so lost already after just a few touches… he wouldn’t be able to hide anything from me when we made love.
The reasonable part of my brain reminded me to focus on the present, not on things that might never be. As strong as my feelings for Christopher were, there was still so much I didn’t know about him, and I had no clue if he wanted me beyond a first kiss.
“Lemon,” Christopher said impatiently. His uninjured hand cupped my cheek. “I usually buy the lemon bodywash, but the store was out. I… I can keep getting the orange,” he said hesitantly.
I managed not to smile at his nervous declaration. Instead, I kissed the other side of his mouth. “Sweetheart, it doesn’t matter what you buy,” I said as I teased the crease where his lips met. “As long as it’s on this beautiful body,” I continued as I slid my hand up and down his slim thigh, “it’s going to be my favorite.”
Christopher went very still in my hold. His eyes met mine. He was blinking rapidly like he was trying to keep from crying.
“Don’t say stuff like that, okay?”
It wasn’t a command. It wasn’t even a request. It was a plea.
An out-and-out plea that made me want to kill the man who’d hurt Christopher so badly.
“Which part?” I asked, though I already knew. “The part about you being beautiful or the insinuation that this won’t be the only time we’re together like this.”
“Both,” Christopher responded.
I could already feel him trying to mentally back away. I kept my hold on him firm as I leaned in and gently brushed my mouth over his. “Can’t do that,” I said before kissing him softly again. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure this happens again… and often.” I drew out the next kiss and added a little lick to the seam of his mouth. His gasp almost made me forget my next words.