“I was fully expecting to find a horse’s head in my bed after that… well, not a real head or anything, but Catrice was a huge fan of movies, so nothing was really off the table when it came to her getting back at me. Creative and vengeful… not the best of combinations.”
As the pain in my body began to fall away, leaving only the stinging in my hand, my lids began to feel heavy. In truth, all of me felt heavy… like cement blocks were tied around each limb. But something about Rush’s voice made all of that fade to the background.
“Did you keep her?” I managed to ask.
“Catrice? Hell no, kicked her ass to the curb real quick. Crazy bitch said she’d call the cops if I didn’t give her back the rabbit.” Rush let out a little laugh.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I let her.”
I chuckled. “What happened?”
“I got rid of her for good when she found out she was facing jail time, I got to keep Thumper, and one of the cops gave me his number. He and I dated for six months before we mutually agreed it was over. Guess what he gave me as a parting gift.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. “What?”
“Guess,” Rush prodded.
My brain felt too foggy to do anything more than tell my body to keep converting oxygen into carbon dioxide, but I managed to throw out a nonsense answer. “A rabbit.”
When Rush didn’t respond, I opened my eyes and lifted them. He was shifting his eyes between me and the road. The little grin on his mouth reminded me of the Cheshire cat.
“Oh my God, am I right?” I asked in disbelief.
Rush nodded. He looked so light and happy that it made all the things that usually felt cold inside of me a little less so.
“After that, it became this running joke. Whenever one of my relationships ended, if the guy or girl didn’t give me a rabbit, my parents made sure to.”
I laughed. “How many did you end up with?”
“Five,” Rush responded. He had to wait until I was done laughing before he added, “Thankfully, after that, they switched over to stuffed animals because of the whole ‘fuck like bunnies’ thing. Turns out that shit’s true. I probably found homes for more than forty bunny babies before I managed to get the single boy bunny fixed.”
I shook my head before resting it on the seat. I was still sitting in a way that I was facing Rush rather than the dashboard, but I didn’t care. I liked looking at him. I couldn’t believe I’d even once thought of him as a cool, aloof guy who masked his emotions. Maybe he was like that while he worked, but aside from the first minute or two when I’d met him four years ago, I felt like I’d been privy to parts of the man not everyone was fortunate enough to experience.
It doesn’t hurt that he’s into men as well as women.
I waited for Ugly Christopher to shoot down Old Christopher’s spark of hope, but it didn’t happen.
It didn’t matter, though, because Logical Christopher was present and ready to remind me that even if by some miracle, the older, gorgeous ex-soldier were interested in me, nothing could happen.
I forced my wayward thoughts back to the present. Rush continued to cast me glances as he drove. I tried to think of something, anything to say, but it was like every cell in my body was lost in the way Rush moved, in the way his eyes shone, in the sensation of his fingers rubbing over mine.
I didn’t think it could have gotten any better, but it did because Rush released my hand and then reached up to run a knuckle down my cheek. We must have been at a traffic light or something because Rush’s gaze lingered on me as he caressed my skin. Shivers of delight crackled beneath my skin as my heart thudded painfully in my chest for a whole other reason.
“Get some rest, Christopher. We still have a few minutes before we get there.”
It was like my body was wired to respond to his commands. With just a few strokes of his knuckle and that soft command, my eyes were once again shut, and I could feel the fingers of sleep reaching for me. But there was still a question lingering in my brain.
A question I probably wouldn’t have asked if I’d been a hundred percent in my right mind.
“Rush?” I said softly.
“Yeah?” he responded just as quietly. The car was moving again, but he continued to stroke my cheek.
“Did you ever find it? What you were looking for with the men and women?”
“You mean love?” Rush asked.
I nodded because I couldn’t repeat the word myself. Maybe because I was afraid of the answer or maybe because it was a concept I’d given up on long ago, I didn’t know.