When I arrived at Maclain’s place, which he shared with Hollister and Donovan, I headed toward the kitchen with my six-pack of beer. Most of my teammates seemed to already be there, even the newbs, the latter probably thinking attendance was mandatory.
I passed by Donovan and Kellan sitting together on the love seat, all smiles for each other. Something about our team captain finally coming out filled me with relief that these newfound feelings I was having for a guy were not as uncommon as they’d felt all last season. I made a mental note to talk to Donovan about it at some point.
Or I could just ignore it all again. Why not? Maclain was obviously ignoring it too. Except, the five months ahead felt like a long penance, and I didn’t think I could last. Not understanding what this thing was between us felt like pure torture.
My skin prickled when I spotted Maclain near the fridge. It was time to bite the bullet and get the proper greeting between us over with.
“Want one?” I asked, offering a beer to Maclain.
“Yeah, sure.” He hesitated before he took it from my hand, and when our fingers brushed, he drew back like I’d burned him. When I narrowed my eyes, he gave back in kind, then stumbled away.
Well, that went over pretty well.
Fuck it. I grabbed a beer, set the rest in the fridge, then twisted the top off and took a long swallow. Christ, Maclain was going to give me a complex. Maybe it was better to just disregard his presence until we were forced to be in each other’s company.
That thought solidly in place, I walked around the living room and caught up with my teammates old and new, ignoring Maclain as much as I could. Except when I squatted down to talk to our new pitcher, who was seated on the floor in front of the couch, I noticed Maclain shifting uncomfortably in his seat across the room. What the hell? Was it a jealousy thing? Like the new guy was going to show him up?
Wanting to give my brain a break, I ended up sitting on the floor beside Vickers and tuned into other conversations my teammates were having about the upcoming season.
“So, I hear you’re a single man again,” Devers said, nudging me with his foot from his perch on the couch behind me. No doubt the news had spread around campus despite the break. In fact, I’d already heard rumors my ex was casually dating a soccer player, and that was cool. I hoped she was happy.
“Yeah,” I admitted as a hush fell over the room.
Don’t look at Maclain. Don’t do it. And yet, I could feel his eyes drilling into the side of my head.
“Does that mean you’re out on the prowl again?” Devers asked.
I snickered. “Was I ever out on the prowl? I mean, nobody can be like you or Maclain.” Goddamn it, I just couldn’t seem to help myself.
“Well, when you’ve got it, you’ve got it,” Maclain said right on cue, and Hollister groaned.
I shrugged. “No argument there.”
Devers launched into a story involving sneaking a girl into his hotel room at an away game last year, but I’d zeroed in on the rosy flush crawling over Maclain’s cheeks, highlighting his chestnut hair and green eyes. He’d expected me to lob an insult his way instead of saying something nice—if a little flirty. Shit, had that been flirty? What was I thinking? But as I glanced around the room, nobody else seemed to think anything unusual about my remark. Only Maclain did because, unless I’d been hallucinating, he’d jerked off in the shower and said my fucking name aloud.
And now I was sure my brain was going to explode. I gulped down more of my beer.
“Sorry to hear you guys broke up,” Hollister said, leaning over and squeezing my shoulder. He was one of the only guys with a long-term girlfriend, and from the looks of it, things were still going well for them.
“Yeah, I just… She’s a great girl, but ultimately not for me.”
Kellan smirked. “I’m sure the ladies will be lining up now.”
“Eh, I’m going to just focus on baseball and graduating.” And figuring out if I liked guys too. Or just one guy. “I’ll be the first one in my family with a college degree, so that’s something to be proud of.”
Donovan clapped me on the back. “Definitely.”
“Hey, me too,” our newest pitcher said, and we high-fived.
I felt Maclain’s intense glare again, and when I glanced his way, he averted his eyes. Like we were in fucking junior high. That sure was what my stomach felt like, all right.
After the pizza was delivered and we all dug in, most guys ended up parked in front of the basketball game in the living room. I wasn’t sure where Maclain had wandered off to.