And then the moment was lost as he used the opportunity to thrust upward, which threw me off-balance and landed me on the floor. His laugh was loud and contagious, and I shushed him because I didn’t know who the heck was next door, and someone was sure to be pissed at all the noise.
When we got ourselves situated back in bed, we talked a little more about other baseball movies we enjoyed, how we were both obsessed with The Sandlot when we were younger, and I liked how his voice became a bit smoky and rough when he was tired.
Eventually, after I stopped being hyperaware of his every movement and how close his arm was resting to mine, we both drifted off. But it was a restless sleep where I could sense myself moving around, trying to get more comfortable and warmer.
What the hell temperature did he have the room set for anyway? It was like an icebox in here.
When I blinked my eyes open in the dawn hours, I was warm. So very toasty. And that was when I realized I’d shifted closer to Kellan’s back in the middle of the night and our bodies were flush. My arm was resting over his hip bone, my fingers just brushing the skin on his stomach where his shirt had ridden up. He was all sleep warm and deep breaths, and I felt calm for the first time in a long while. My stomach trembled because holy hell, he felt good in my arms. Right. Normally I’d panic and want to flee the room if I ever fell asleep after a hookup.
Not that this was a hookup. But it was as close to a guy as I’d ever gotten without someone elbowing me in the stomach or wrestling me in a headlock.
And now I could smell him, this warm vanilla scent, which must’ve been his shampoo because his hair was all tousled and some of it was sticking to my lip.
But I held perfectly still because I didn’t want to break this spell I was under.
I also didn’t want to push my luck—what if he got mad or grossed out, and shoved me away? I should’ve disentangled myself immediately and was just about to roll over when Kellan sighed and settled in closer to my chest. And hell if my cock didn’t start stirring just from the contact.
I must’ve made a noise because Kellan suddenly jolted awake and then held very still, possibly not wanting to wake me.
We just lay there breathing, and I felt guilty, but also this desperately overwhelming feeling of want and need and yearning. To be near him and hold him longer.
“Donovan?” Kellan’s voice was groggy.
I tried playing it off like I’d just woken up too. “Kellan?”
“Why are we sleeping like this?” He didn’t sound angry or grossed out, only surprised. Plus, he didn’t try to push me away.
“Dunno, exactly,” I admitted. Still neither of us moved. “Except maybe you tried to freeze me, and I was trying to find any form of warmth I could.”
He chuckled a little. “I like the room to be cold when I’m sleeping.”
“Obviously.”
“And the covers weren’t doing the trick?”
“I mean, I was asleep, so your body seemed the warmest place.”
“Uh-huh.” He still didn’t maneuver out of my grasp, so I stayed put, but I could feel my fingers trembling because holy shit, was this really happening?
“Would you be doing this if you had to share a bed with one of the guys?”
I held in my gasp because he had a point. My heart pattered loudly in my ears. “Sure, why not?”
“Liar.”
I should’ve rolled onto my back or got up to use the restroom, but it was like I was frozen in place, trying to make sense of whatever was happening between us. Or just happening to me. “What are you accusing me of, exactly?”
“That you’re softer when no one’s looking. You’re already a goofball, but this seems different.” His voice was sweet and wistful. “Like you’re more yourself.”
And I felt…fuck, I felt flayed open right then. I didn’t know what to say, so I resorted to humor like I always did where he was concerned. “I call bullshit. Trying to get warm is not being softer.” I adjusted my arm on his hip, hoping he didn’t detect how wobbly my voice sounded because holy fuck, this conversation was blowing my mind. “You’re just too much like a teddy bear.”
“Uh-huh,” he said around a yawn. “Whatever you say.”
The room grew quiet again, and lulled by the sound of the air-conditioning switching on and off, I fell into a more restful sleep.
I didn’t know how much time went by, but when I woke up, I was stiff in my shorts—painfully stiff. Kellan was asleep, but he was restless and wiggly, and the more he nestled against me, the more pressure his lower back was putting on my cock.