***
“You have a phone?” I demand, seeing there’s no note in the cabin, but finding the note that Ivy wrote me last time. I find it tucked into the little monkey book on the shelf of my old room. I wanted to save it for some reason and that seemed like a good place.
Grey passes me his phone.
It’s different from Ivy’s and I get confused with the navigation to find how to make a phone call.
I only used the apps on Ivy’s phone to look at her photographs, to go into the one app with the funny jokes.
“Here,” Grey says and shows me how to make a call.
It makes a noise for a minute and then I hear Ivy talking.
“Hi, this is Ivy.”
“Ivy!”
“I can’t take your call right now so you can either leave a message or you can hang up and text me. Hint. It’s better if you hang up and text me. I hate voicemails.”
The phone makes a beep.
I don’t want to text message her. I can barely use the phone as it is, nevermind try to fiddle with it to send a word message. I want her here with me so I can hold her, so I can fix this.
“Ivy!” I say. “It’s Tyson. Please. I need you. I need to show you I’m sorry. I’m coming. Call me at this phone if you can. Grey, how can she call this phone from her phone?”
“She’ll see the number, Tyson.” Grey says.
“Call. Or come home. I love you. I’m sorry, Ivy. I’ll find you. I’m on my way.”
I pass the phone to him and shove Ivy’s note in my pocket.
“Let’s go.”
Riley gets into the passenger side of my truck as I start it up. Grey follows in his truck because my truck hasn’t got room for three men and Ivy for us to bring her back.
I don’t want Riley Savage’s company right now and tell him as much.
“You should ride with Grey,” I say.
“Respectfully, Ty, I’d prefer to be with you until we get there. We can talk.”
“Don’t feel like talking, man.”
“Okay well, I get that. But I have a few things to say. And if you feel like talking, talk. If you don’t, just listen.”
I growl in his face. “I’m not in the fucking mood for listening, either.”
“I know you’re not. Believe me, I know. We’ll get some road behind us first; I’ll give you time.”
“I’m not interested in talking. I’m interested in getting my girl back. You can talk to me after that.”
“Fine. Then I’ll just be a passenger. Let’s go.” He gestures ahead of us.
I follow my senses, which take me on a three-hour journey to a city that smells disgusting, that’s filled with cars and people, that’s ten times more crowded than the grocery store when it’s full.
I do not like cities. I don’t like that Ivy’s here either. It doesn’t feel safe. The smell of it, even the sky… they’re not right. There are hardly even any trees. The other smells are sour in my nose, but her scent is there. And it doesn’t fucking belong.
44
Ivy
“Stay over,” Amelia pleads with me.
I shake my head. “I’m just gonna go home, I think. I’ll be fine.”
She pouts. “Are you sure?”
I nod and she hugs me.
We’re in her driveway and we’ve done the whole fitting and dinner thing. I’m here to get my car after riding with her. Me, her, our mom, her other bridesmaids and Rick’s mom spent the past six hours together and I’ve felt like I’ve been in a daze, like I’ve been walking around with weights on my body. I’ve really tried to not be a bummer but kept getting long looks from my sister and mother. They knew I wasn’t having fun. They know my heart is broken.
All the times I didn’t feel heartbreak over a guy… it’s like I’m getting it all at once. Instead of being like most girls my age who’ve had it at least half a dozen times I’m getting it all piled on me at once because a) he’s the only guy that I’ve had this depth of feeling for and b) I’m so absolutely, completely crushed by what he did.
I don’t know where things would’ve gone. I don’t know anything right now, except that it hurts. This hurts just so much.
I get out of Amelia’s driveway before Mom gets back. I don’t need to deal with her, too, right now.
***
I get inside my apartment, sit down, and turn my phone on for the first time since yesterday.
There’s a missed call from a number I don’t recognize. And a voicemail.
I start listening.
I hang up as soon as I hear his voice. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, as if it’ll ward off the pain that’s coming at me, but I can’t. It engulfs me and I crumble to the floor and melt into myself.