“Whatcha doing?” he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
She whirled around in the chair. “Didn’t know you were up.”
All the way up, as his waking cock attested to. He shifted the sheet over his erection and turned onto his side to prop his head on his hand. “Just woke. Empty beds are mean.”
She laughed and stood, stretching her arms over her head in the same stretch she’d done every morning for years. But normally she wasn’t basically naked. Buttons gaped, revealing a hint of her breast, and the shirt rode up, exposing more than a hint of the downy blonde hair between her legs.
As if she noticed his discomfort, she grinned. “You okay over there?”
“Yeah.” He rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes. “I’m trying not to look so I don’t want.”
“Why? We’ve got a while before Matt comes back.” She crawled across the mattress and slid her soft, cool palm up his chest. “I want to be with you. Just us. Just to see what it’s like.” He dropped his arm and looked at her, hearing the quaver in her voice. “I’ve wanted that for so long.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I couldn’t choose. It felt wrong. And dirty.”
“It’s not wrong or dirty. Why is loving someone ever wrong?” He opened his arms to her, and she settled inside them, dropping her head to his chest. “It would be a lot easier if it were just you and me, wouldn’t it?”
“Yes, I guess it would be.” She paused just long enough for his heart to trip. “But I can’t see us without Matt. He’s part of us.”
He hadn’t meant to test her with that question, but it slipped out anyway. And she’d passed. Or failed, because in his weak moments, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t take her up on her offer if she suggested a relationship with just one of them. He knew ultimately it wasn’t what he wanted, but some of her heart was better than none.
Wasn’t it?
If she chose him, he wouldn’t be able to still be with Matt on the side. It would be way too complicated. But how could he ask Matt to step aside? How could he step aside if her choice turned out to be his best friend?
Christ, it was all so complicated.
“Yeah, he is.”
“Have you always known you…had feelings for him?”
“Sexual feelings? No. It wasn’t until a year or so ago that I really started becoming aware of them. He’d do something, and I’d just notice. And more than notice, if you get me.”
“He’s the only guy you’ve ever wanted?”
“Yeah. He says that means I’m only lukewarmly bi.” He laughed and kissed her forehead. “He’s been into other guys. He never pursued long-term relationships with them, or so he says, but I wasn’t the first man for him.”
“Does that mean he slept with other guys or just fooled around with them? We talked about it, but he wasn’t really clear, and I didn’t want to pry.”
Tristan flicked her nose. “Sure you didn’t.”
Cait’s questions were legendary. She wanted to know everything about everything and had a brain that worked at warp speed. Showing her a new aspect of design software could easily result in an hour-long Q&A. Two if she’d warmed up with soda beforehand. Sugar made Caity’s already warp-speed brain truly scary.
Apparently her curiosity also extended to his and Matt’s sexual activities. He supposed he should be glad she’d lifted the veil of secrecy with him on the topic of sex, but talking about it wasn’t his favorite thing to do.
“I think he slept with a couple of guys. We’ve never really discussed it.”
“Are you always on top?”
Tristan shook his head, smiling. “Are these the kinds of conversations you normally have with him? All the gory details?”
“Usually, yeah. But I didn’t get a chance to ask everything I wanted to.” Her grin turned sly. “I did ask if it felt really good.”
“And?”
“And he said yes, naturally.”