She accepted it and sniffed before taking a healthy sip. And moaned out loud. “Holy crap, that’s good.”
“I know.” He gave her a smug smile. “It’s my special concoction. I checked with Brad and you had most of the ingredients. Good thing he likes cocoa powder. The Nutella was an unexpected bonus.”
“I was expecting alcohol and you made me a chocolate hazelnut milkshake. This is why you’re like no other man, ever.” She took another drink and rolled her tongue over her lip to erase her certain milk mustache. “This is not a bad thing, by the way,” she added as he focused on the wall beyond her head.
Great. Clearly she wasn’t fit for consumption. Michael should leave before she crushed him under her giant unfeeling bare feet.
Kiminator, reporting for service.
“I know I’m not like your usual dates.”
The understatement of that made her snort into the cup she’d shamelessly buried her face in. She wanted to absorb the chocolate into her pores. “I don’t really date. I screw around and then break up either when I realize we have nothing in common or when they realize I’m not suitable to bring home to mama. Mainly because I’m mama’s age.”
“Not a problem with me. My mom only wants me to be happy.”
“How’d you luck out there?”
“Because she wasn’t. Isn’t,” he corrected quietly.
“She never found anyone else after your father’s passing?”
“With nine kids?” He circled the silver overflow cup. “No. She had a date or two here or there. She’s still in that cramped place and it’s hard for her to invite people over. Even friends. I asked her to move in with me, with the kids. I have so much room.”
And you’re lonely, she realized, biting her lip to keep from voicing her observation. One that dovetailed awfully closely to the realization she’d come to about herself when she’d learned she would soon be all alone in the house she loved so much.
No one to share bowls of popcorn with or insult during the football game when the Raiders were losing. No one to trade sex stories with after sneaking home from a date. No big brother to flick milk at across the table over breakfast. No one to come home to, period.
Alone. Alone. Alone.
“Actually I’m kind of in a similar sitch. But it’s my fault for not becoming a full-fledged adult when I had the chance.” She lifted the dripping straw she hadn’t bothered to use and offered it. “Here. You need this as much as I do.”
Lips curving, he leaned in to draw on the end. Watching his throat undulate as he swallowed did uncomfortable things to her stomach so she went back to slurping her shake. She could almost feel another mistake happening with every suck.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice too soft. He wanted to hear her life story, she could tell. And he was the kind of man she wanted to share it with. He would listen and actually care. Maybe even stroke her hair while she spoke. So fucking dangerous all the way around.
Then again, what did she have to lose? She’d already deflowered a man almost a decade and a half younger than she was. A man who worked for her brother and by extension, for her—especially now that she would surely need to be more involved in the day-to-day operations of O’Halloran’s. Maybe she could head to the shop every night after work ended at the sanctuary and stay until closing. Avoid the I-don’t-have-anyone-to-eat-dinner-with rush.
Yeah, rock bottom would make a cushy landing spot for her head right about now.
“After my marriage ended, I didn
’t try to build a life. Not the way the people I went to school with did. Do you know almost my entire high school class is coupled up? Most of them long married with kids?”
“It’s the way of the world.”
“It is. I tried it that way. For some reason, it didn’t work for me. So I decided to have indiscriminate sex and drink on the weekends and basically live like a frat boy because I was on my own and didn’t have to account for my actions to anyone else. My mom’s death woke me up some.” She rubbed ice cream off the rim with her thumb. “Not enough. When Brad moved in, and Sara after that, it was only supposed to be a temporary thing while we fixed this place up for sale. Along the way, I forgot the temporary part.” She curled her damp thumb into her hand. “They didn’t.”
“They’ll visit, you know. They aren’t going away forever.” The gentleness of his tone made her eyes burn.
“I know. And I’m so happy for Sar. So happy for my brother. You saw them together. They…fill each other up, you know? They’re everything good about marriage, and they haven’t even signed on the dotted line yet. I know they’re going to make it.”
“What about you?”
She let her head drop to the cushions. “I don’t know. It scares me that I don’t have all the answers.” She released a long breath. “I can’t see my future from here.”
“So let’s talk about what you do know.”
“I like living in Fairdale. I lived in Florida for a while and it wasn’t for me. This is.”