Just as Sara had at first.
She hooked her arms around her updrawn knees, suddenly cold despite the warm, frothy bubbles. “Who does that? Who lies about something as important as a baby?”
He stared at her for so long that she had to struggle to hold his gaze. “Lots of people lie, Sara.”
The back of her neck prickled with heat, and she drew in a slow breath. She wasn’t going to run from this conversation or fro
m the accusations he didn’t voice. Was he lumping her in with Darla? How could he compare her harmless wish to keep them secret for a while to a woman who would lie to him about his baby? A baby that didn’t exist.
“You’re sure she was never pregnant?”
He stabbed the stop button on his phone and the music ended. Only the sound of the bubbling tub broke the eerie silence. “She admitted as much.”
“You didn’t…did you ever love her?”
“No. We had a fling, one of those that you keep coming back to even when you know you shouldn’t.” He traced his thumb over his phone as if he was lost in thought. “I knew it wasn’t serious, that I wouldn’t ever feel anything more for her than affection, but I didn’t break it off. Sometimes someone wanting you is the biggest aphrodisiac there is. It fills a lot of holes.”
She understood that well, part of why she’d chased after that elusive feeling more than once since she’d been in Fairdale. Why be alone when someone could smooth over the ache, even if it was only temporary? She’d never realized Brad was looking for more too. That hearing that same need in his voice would allow her to acknowledge her own desire for something beyond quickie hookups and even faster breakups.
“So you divorced her because she’d lied?”
“Like I said, I didn’t love her. And if I had, that would’ve killed it.” His lips quirked, but it wasn’t a real smile. More like a visual dart aimed at her. “Then there was my harem. You know, all those women I wanted so badly to bang, according to you and the town bigmouths. You’ve seen a ton of chicks parading through here, right?”
“You wouldn’t have done that while I was around. Not if—not when you wanted me.”
“Right. So for the two months you’ve been here, I’ve kept my manwhoring out of this house. But before then…” He whistled, and she shut her eyes tight. “Sure you should’ve gone raw with me? You might’ve put your health at risk. Since I’m such an indiscriminate bastard.”
Before she could reply, he jerked to his feet and stepped out of the tub, trailing water and bubbles across the floor as he strode into his bedroom.
“Great,” she whispered, lowering her forehead to her knees.
How had everything gone so wrong? One minute they’d been laughing and loving, the next she’d driven him away with her questions and her tears. Tears, for God’s sake. It must’ve been a hormonal thing, because she absolutely did not cry. Especially not because she’d suddenly realized the biggest reason this would never work between them long-term, if she even wanted that.
He wanted children. Brad was that guy. The kind who would screw his way through town—okay, that wasn’t as certain now—before settling down with his cute wife and passel of cute kids, each of them with his blond hair and blue-gray eyes. The perfect little family.
And that absolutely did not include a wife who couldn’t even have those kids if she wanted to, which she’d given up on ever happening years ago.
Once she’d had those goals in mind. The husband, the kids, the dog. Her family had been boringly traditional, and she’d assumed she would settle down and live the same kind of life. Then she’d discovered her love of animals, birds in particular, and her dreams of falling in love had taken a back seat to getting her doctorate and a good job. By the time she’d dusted them off the shelf, all the decent, family-focused guys were off the market. Or so it had seemed. It had taken almost getting engaged to Mr. Incredibly Wrong for her to see exactly how far astray she’d wandered.
Coming here and meeting Kim had felt like a rebirth. She hadn’t merely shed her old life; she’d become a new Sara. She’d sowed her wild oats repeatedly and happily and thoughts of what might have been rarely entered the picture.
Until now.
Now she felt every day of her forty-two years, three months and nine days. Soon she’d be counting minutes off too.
She didn’t need kids or a husband to be content. She’d proven that. But what if she needed Brad, and he needed more than she could give him?
After a few moments, she turned off the jets and sat in the cooling water. Her skin had shriveled and turned pruny long ago. Her heart was about to follow suit.
This wasn’t anything but a fling. She’d understood that from their first kiss. She’d planned to lie to Kim long enough to get him out of her system, then she’d go back to her life of birds and work, with the occasional dalliance mixed in for distractionary purposes. So what if distractionary wasn’t a real word. It felt right.
As did getting up and going to talk to Brad, instead of sitting and pouting in cold water.
She rose and dried off with the towel she’d brought into the bathroom. A quick check of her hair in the mirror told her it wasn’t too tangled. Her looks weren’t her priority at the moment anyhow.
Her friend was. Above all, Brad O’Halloran was her friend. And it was past time she started treating him that way.
She wrapped her towel around herself and fluffed her hair, stalling for another full minute before she forced herself over the threshold of his darkened bedroom. He lay on the bed, still naked. The moonlight did intriguing things to the long, lean lines of his body, and she had to swallow hard to keep from tackling him.