Quartz was for love. I could get behind that, except not for my actual date. Which I should not even be having, but it wasn’t anything other than friends looking at lights. Was that how Caleb felt though? I didn’t know, and I didn’t want to lead him on in any way.
If I wasn’t going to be with Brooks, I wasn’t going to date, not ever again. I was prepared to let my hoohaa wilt and wither away, and I would learn to be content with self-satisfying. Many a woman lived quite happily without a man.
Even one who dispensed two orgasms without getting any for himself.
“He sent me flowers. I could barely fit them all in my apartment window,” I admitted, thinking of the trio of white orchids that had arrived from Brooks’ Greenery this morning.
They’d been in colorful pots, and each one had two spikes of orchids in full bloom. I’d put one in each of my windows, fussing to make sure they got the proper light. This afternoon, I’d read about them online, how they were the perfect plant to apologize. True, easy enough to just have his father send them, but I couldn’t help being touched.
As angry and hurt as I’d been last night at his sudden dismissal, I’d had more time to think during my sleepless night. His mom had left when he and Mason were basically babies. He’d had few female influences in his life, and I understood quite well how when he got overwhelmed, he defaulted to rigid, stoic, lawman Brooks. It was his safety setting.
And what could be more overwhelming than the past week and a half? I came from an extremely healthy—and boisterous—family background, and even I was floundering a bit with these changes. Brooks didn’t know what any of that was like. As nice as his dad and Mason were, they were all independent guys who did their own thing. Dinner at their place was quiet with the occasional quips and laughter. My family was the only experience he’d had with what it was like to have a home filled with chaos and love.
Now he had a baby and a woman when all he’d ever known was duty to his job above all else. To be caught ten seconds after going down on me by his deputy must’ve been horrifying. No wonder he’d freaked out and told me to hide, as stupid and irritating as that was.
Luna stopped arranging my dress and sighed, gripping my shoulders. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
I didn’t even look around me to see if we were being overheard. There hadn’t been many people in the store when I came in, but I’d been here for the better part of an hour, and voices were now a steady hum in the main part of the shop.
I simply didn’t care.
“Yes.” I reached up to clutch my necklace. “And the worst thing is I think he might love me too.”
Luna narrowed her eyes. “Have you been drinking?”
I released a half laugh as I sank onto a nearby ottoman. The toes of my white boots peeked out beneath my dress and I admired them in the mirror for a moment before I motioned her closer. “We are both hopeless with this stuff.” I lowered my voice. “It’s probably a miracle the sex is so good, and we didn’t break each other’s noses or something.”
“Wait, what? What sex? You didn’t say there was sex.”
“Shh.” I didn’t mind sharing my truth, but I preferred not to take out a billboard. “Not actual sex. We didn’t get that far. But we—”
“Oh. Ohh. So, that’s what happened with Christian.”
I frowned. “You know?”
“I work on Main Street, hello.” She gestured around her. “Kinleigh’s shop is a hub for activity and tall tales. For this one, people didn’t give many details. I think because he wears a badge. Almost the same as a man of the cloth. Requires hushed, reverent voices.”
“He’s really really reverent. Like…so reverent.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “That good?”
I had to tell someone before I burst. “He was not stingy. At all.” I held up two fingers on one hand and formed a zero with fingers on my other hand. “All me.”
“You didn’t even reciprocate? You should’ve sent him flowers. I mean, yay you, but wow, that’s harsh.”
“Oh, I would’ve. Believe me. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a co—oh, hey, Mrs. Gunderson,” I said brightly as the older woman—and inveterate gossip hound—shuffled over to us.
“You did me dirty, Regina.”
“I did?”
“I asked you about that pool and you said no. I knew no Ramos girl would lie to me, so I only bet ten dollars on yes. Just in case. Macy Gideon won the whole darn thing. I think she bet 500 dollars. She can probably buy a new car now.”
I choked and Luna rubbed my back. “Who officiates these things?”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone can’t win money until the act has been done, right?”