We’d managed to keep this thing between us going for a couple of years now. Sex was our last frontier. It only made sense to at least put it on the table.
If she didn’t agree, if she didn’t want to go there, I would understand. I’d probably have blue balls for the rest of my life, but I’d adjust.
I climbed out of the car and slammed my door with new resolve. Whatever way this went, I could handle it.
“What do you mean, you think it’s time we figure out a new arrangement?” I demanded, focusing on Gina’s face rather than how she looked toting the baby around on her hip. She’d dressed her in that Auntie Claus outfit, and while it was festive and cute, it was wrong. All wrong.
Gina wasn’t meant to be her aunt. Her role should be a different one altogether.
Maybe I was the only one who got that.
She diverted her attention to the shimmering silver garland she’d looped around the floor-to-ceiling living room windows. She must’ve gotten out the stepladder to get that stuff up there. “Some of the garland is bunched up. Can you take Samantha while I get back up there to fix it? It’ll just take a minute.”
“No. I will not take the baby. We are having a conversation.”
Gina’s dark eyes flashed, a sure sign her fiery nature was one more snippy comment from coming to the fore. And most likely, it would lead to a vase heaved at my head.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Her name is not ‘the baby’. Her name is Samantha. Sound it out with me. Sam-an-tha.”
“I know her name. This isn’t about that right now. How could you do all of this,” I gestured to the decorations dripping from every eave and arranged on every surface, “and then just not want to come back?”
Her face softened, and I wanted to punch the smug Santa grinning in my front window. My reaction wasn’t rational. But she wanted to back off when I wanted so much more.
She took a step toward me then stopped. The baby was using her fist as a pacifier. Sadie peeked out from behind Gina’s legs, and even her big golden eyes were filled with trepidation.
I hated that I was the one putting that expression on all their faces, even the ones who didn’t understand why I was pissed off.
Hell, Gina probably had no clue. How could she when I hadn’t said a word to her about any of it yet?
Now I wouldn’t be. I couldn’t. Not when I knew she had leaving on her mind, even if she covered it up with the compassion that came as naturally to her as breathing.
Except I didn’t want her sympathy. I wanted her.
“You know that’s not true. I won’t ever leave and not come back. I wouldn’t have before Samantha and definitely not afte
r her.”
“You like her better than me.” Knowing the statement sounded pathetic didn’t keep me from saying it.
Gina’s lips twitched. “Someone’s in a mood. Here I watched your daughter, and cleaned the whole house, and decorated until the place looks like a Christmas bomb went off, and you’re still not happy.”
I moved forward to scoop my fingers through the ends of the baby’s silky hair. She’d obviously had another bath today with the actual baby shampoo Gina had picked up the other day. “I am happy. I appreciate all you’ve done. The house looks amazing. I just want—”
“What?”
Too much. Everything. Including all the things that obviously were not meant for me.
Or not meant for Gina and I, and that fucking burned.
“It’s for the best,” she said quietly. “We don’t want the lines to get blurred.”
“Oh, yeah? Is that the reason you want to kill everything we had going?”
“I don’t want to kill anything. Stop being dramatic.”
I pressed my lips together so I didn’t toss back a remark that would lead to an argument that would scare the baby. And Sadie.