“It happened. You can’t wish it away.”
“I wouldn’t. I don’t want her not to be here.”
“Sure about that?”
The casual question stung, even if I probably deserved it. “Not knowing what to do doesn’t mean I regret having to do it. There are things I regret though. I wish I hadn’t hurt you.”
“I’m not hurt.” The bravado in her tone would’ve fooled a lot of people.
Just not me.
“I never want to hurt you,” I said anyway. “No matter what you think of me, you have to know that. I didn’t tell you about what happened because—”
“It didn’t matter. Yeah, I heard you the first time. Except it obviously did and does. And no matter how hard you pretend things are normal, they aren’t. You have to tell the people who matter. Who will want to help you through this, if you’ll just let them.”
“I know.” I shook the popcorn hard enough to get a cramp. “I’m going to tell them.”
“When exactly? When she’s ready for preschool?”
“This week. The holidays are coming up, and I can’t just go off places and leave her here.”
“Wow, you just leveled up in the parenting game, Brooks.” She rolled her eyes.
“I mean, I know that, and even if I had some secret sitter—”
“You definitely do not. You’re lucky you’ve had one this long.”
“I know. It’s just not feasible to keep hiding it, even if I still need to take that paternity test.”
Even if she wasn’t mine, I wasn’t prepared to turn her back over to her mother’s care. How could I, after the stunt she’d pulled? I didn’t even know where to find her.
Truthfully, that was the last thing I wanted to consider.
“Did you schedule the test yet?”
“No. I will soon.”
“There has been awful lot of ‘I’ll do it soon’ with you lately. You can’t put all of this off forever. Your life is different now.”
I waited for her to say hers had also changed, but that was just another way I was pretending. She was helping because she was my best friend. But that clock was ticking too.
I could only hang on to the past for so long before I took the necessary steps forward, and my new reality fully took root.
And I had no idea if Gina would still be by my side.
Seven
Being grilled by your own mother was a particularly heinous experience.
Especially when I was lying to her for the benefit of my best friend, whom I did not want to lie for since he was taking entirely too long to tell the truth.
But somewhere in the bestie contract was an implied tenet about always having their back. Even when they were making the wrong move by sticking their head in the sand…err, lake.
“Lou O’Malley told me she saw you with a baby outside the sheriff’s place. You’re telling me she’s a liar?”
“Shhh. Does the whole diner have to hear your theories?”
“What theory? She has eyes, and she used them. Are you saying it was a case of mistaken identity, and it wasn’t you there? That another woman was carrying an infant and laughing and joking with Jared as he brought in a Christmas tree?”