Along with one other that he also would never know. The one at the root of the ache in the pit of my belly.
But that was mine alone too.
I glanced back at him, and his stark, pained expression tugged hard at me. Despite my best efforts, I’d never been able to shut out Jared Brooks from my heart—and I wasn’t going to start now. Not when he needed me most.
When that little girl needed me, even if looking at her chipped off more pieces inside me I didn’t have to spare.
“I’ll take Sadie outside,” I said gently. “Then I’ll come back in and we’ll figure this out.”
The hope that exploded across his face would’ve been comical if his relief wasn’t so palpable. “You’re not leaving me?”
I frowned. An odd way to phrase the question to be sure, but this had been a strange night. “I won’t ever leave you. Even when you’re a bonehead.”
Even when you ground my heart to a pulp—whether or not you meant to.
He moved toward me so fast that I had no time to prepare. His big hand came up to cup my cheek as he searched my eyes. “No matter what happens, you won’t. Promise me, Bee.”
Every molecule in my body yearned. In that moment, I would have pledged anything to him. I couldn’t have stopped myself. “I promise.”
Four
I’d been a father for almost seven hours, and the baby was still alive. I considered that a victory.
Granted, I’d been a father a lot longer than that, but I hadn’t known about it so it didn’t technically count. At least not for the purposes of keeping her in one piece. But I hadn’t managed that feat alone.
I didn’t have words to convey my gratitude toward Gina. Even if she’d basically stopped speaking to me after taking Sadie out on a long enough walk around my property that I’d been tempted to go out to search for them. She tended to like to walk down to my boat launch, but it was a cold, raw night, and it was too easy to trip and fall in the dark. She’d waved off the flashlight I’d tried to force on her, and I’d reminded myself that Sadie knew every inch of this area.
Still, I’d wanted to go after her. To try again to explain. But I didn’t have words for that either.
How could I spell out why I felt so guilty without making it sound, well, suspicious?
Not that it was suspicious. Not at all. She was my best friend. I loved her, of course, but I wasn’t in love with her. I’d never been in love with any woman. After my mother had shown me the worst of human nature when I was a kid, I’d sworn I never would be.
A three-year-old’s promises were valid too, even if you only made them to yourself.
“What should we name her?” I asked in the silence broken only by Sadie lapping water from her dish in the kitchen.
Gina didn’t look up from her phone. She’d been scrolling and typing a lot for the last hour or so, which I supposed was preferable to talking to me. “You’re sure she doesn’t have one already?”
“The note didn’t mention one.”
She tucked her phone against her hip and stuck out her hand. “Let’s see it.”
Rising, I tiptoed around the boat that still held the sleeping baby—despite Gina’s eye roll when I’d said she was content there—to the basket I’d tucked beside the couch. When I picked it up, I noticed there was a hidden compartment on the bottom I hadn’t seen before. I fumbled with the recessed latch and opened it to find an envelope and two more full bottles.
“Some lawman I am,” I muttered. “I didn’t even see this before.”
Gina was already standing next to me. “Oh, bottles.” She kept her voice low to not wake the baby as she tugged them out of my hands.
Before I could say anything, she took them down the hall to put them in the refrigerator. Somehow they’d still seemed cold. It probably didn’t hurt I kept my place a few degrees warmer than an icebox.
She came back in, moving at her typical warp speed. “Glad to find those bottles. I was about to run to the store, but they’re handy to have on hand.”
“What do you mean you’re going to the store? Who’s going to watch her?” So much for keeping our voices low.
Or keeping mine low. I was on the verge of a panicked shout. Luckily, the kid hadn’t noticed yet.
Gina’s brows spiked high enough to nearly flirt with her hairline. “Um, her father, maybe?”