But the petty, small-minded woman inside me would not let the mothering side of me take control.
“I’m assuming you remembered the sex part though.”
He gave me a tight nod.
“And you recall that you did not tell me about that.”
“It was not pertinent.”
“Oh, no? I’d say it was extremely pertinent, considering the result’s dirty diaper is probably stinking up your living room.”
Even as I spoke, I felt bad. Judging from the scarce amount of information Jared had shared, his kid hadn’t had an easy go of it thus far. What kind of mother did she have to dump her off on Jared this way? And where exactly was she?
“Since we’re on the topic, what sort of woman did you get naked with, huh? Just wondering what kind of chick drops her infant on a clueless dude and takes off for what, a mental health vacay?”
“I’m not clueless. And she didn’t take off for a vacay.” He did air quotes. “She just took off, period.” His forehead pinched as he closed his eyes. “I don’t know her name. I don’t even know if she gave her one. She’s a couple of months old, and her own mother didn’t even care enough to tell me the kid’s name.”
Horror curled through me at the reality of just what he was describing. God, that poor sweet littl
e girl.
“We’ll give her one.”
His eyes opened as I heard myself. But it was too late. I couldn’t take it back or remove myself safely from the situation so I couldn’t get any more hurt than I was already.
It didn’t matter if my reasons were stupid or if I didn’t have any right to have them. My chest hurt just the same.
“You’ll help?” I bit my lip as he reached out to brush a curl away from my eyes. “Please, Bee. I need you. You said it yourself. I’m clueless.”
My lips twitched. I could never stay mad at him for long. Damn him. But if I didn’t stay mad, the pain would sneak in, and I didn’t want that to happen either.
“You told me you weren’t.”
“Well, in matters of life, I guess not, no, or at least I wasn’t until I went to the city for a law enforcement convention and hooked up with a woman who wasn’t at all who I thought she was.”
I stroked Sadie’s soft ear as she leaned her head against my thigh. “Did she leave you high and dry?”
“No. It wasn’t like that. It was honestly nothing but two nights in a hotel room. We didn’t make plans to connect afterward because we were blowing off steam. That’s all.”
“While you were blowing, did your hand slip on the latex?”
His direct glance nearly made me blush. “My hand never slips, Bee.”
“Then what happened?”
He pushed a hand through his short dark hair. “I don’t know. She said she was on the Pill too.”
“Sounds like you need a S on your chest if you can go through two forms. If she was being honest.”
“How the hell do I know? Now I’m questioning everything. Replaying every conversation and every—”
“Liplock?” I suggested, instantly wanting to seal my own lips shut with superglue.
“I think it means more to you than it did to me, since you’ve spent as much time thinking about it in the last few minutes as I have the entire past year.”
“Well, you knew about it and I didn’t. And if it was so meaningless to you, it seems even more likely you’d be like, ‘hey, got some this week, sucks to be you.’ But hey, what do I know, right?” I patted Sadie’s back, and she wiggled her rump excitedly. “C’mon, Sadie, let’s get some fresh air.”
Except Jared wasn’t budging from the doorway.